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Settling In

26 Jun

So i’m settling back into being at home, beginning to feel like i might possibly get caught up on the things i’ve neglected.   Sfp will be here before i know it.  i keep having conversations in my head with her – “We could do this… or this…” only ~ since the conversation is only in my head, it just goes in circles.  

And really, we probably need to wait til she gets here before we make a bunch of plans.  

i’m getting some new furniture for my living room, and i’m a little worried.  Well, i’m excited about the furniture, but the chair and couch i have now, which are so well-suited for cock worship and spankings, are going to the basement.  i don’t think the furniture i have in mind will serve that purpose quite as well.

i used to have fantasies about being spanked bent over the arm of my chair, or the couch, long before i was actively involved in kink.  i knew they would be ideal for that. 

i remember getting up the nerve to tell my husband that i would like him to spank me there, that way.  The memory makes me smile, and makes me sad.  

He had his own chair, where i used to sit in his lap, but he took it with him of course when we split up.

My chair has lots of memories for me.  i’ve knelt in front of it so many times.  Been bent over the arm, just like in my fantasies. And now it’s in the “family room” in the basement.  

Sigh.

Of course, lots of people have dungeons or play equipment in the basement, so maybe we’ll just shift the venue  – well, if i ever play with anyone again.

Bob sent me an offer that’s hard to refuse.  You know, Bob is my friend who’s a Dom, who i went to the swingers party with.  

He sent me a message on fetlife, offering to relieve me of my state of  “only getting orgasms solo,” which is certainly considerate of him.  But he also showed me a picture that was pretty enticing.  i wanted to copy and post it here, but couldn’t figure out how to do it, so i’ll have to describe it.

Laid out in a visually appealing spread, i first notice the fucksall, with the lovely blue dildo.  Then the flogger, and the riding crop catch my eye.  Hmmmm.

Rope – 4 pieces of silky looking rope, another – is that another dildo?  O, my, yes, i think it is, and um, a row of clothespins.  More clothespins than any sub could need, ten of them, while i only have 2 nipples.  But it’s an eye-catching arrangement.  Hard to resist.

{Swallows hard}

And maybe i won’t.  Resist, that is.  Maybe i need a play partner for a while.

Thinking about it, i try to shift my image from dedicated sub to playmate.  i don’t know.  i do need to be touched.

i was IM’ing with someone last night who’s also local, who’s also looking for a play partner.  We agreed to  meet at some point soon, although the exact date and time hasn’t been determined.  But i think he mainly wants a third for him and his slave, who he sees monthly.

i don’t know.

i talked to someone else local through collarme  who, as it turns out, was someone i went out with back before my second marriage.  He was very into kink then, and i was at least on the fringes.   Neither of us had any idea about the other.

Where-i-Live is really very small sometimes.

But i’m trying to take the sagest advice of all of you  – to take my time, process things slowly, be kind to myself…

…and maybe let Bob test his new toy on me…    

 

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Spanked

24 Jun

“Come here,” He says.

It’s late.  i’m tired.  i don’t want to go there.  

But i do, and i hear myself say, “What???” in this snarky, whiny voice.

He raises an eyebrow.

“What, Sir?” i say, more respectfully, trying to make it sound like that was what i meant the first time.

He laughs.  “Nice save,” He says.  “Bend over the arm of the couch and lift your skirt,” He says. 

i don’t want to. i really, really don’t want to.

i was in the middle of reading a fetlife discussion.  i’m tired and cranky.  i don’t want to.

“But Sir,” i say, and i know that’s a bad idea, but i can’t help it, “But, Sir…” and i see His face.  Now i wish i hadn’t said anything.

“i’m sorry…” i start,

~~ but He is out of His chair, and has my hair clutched firmly in His hand.  Quickly, firmly, He moves me so i am bent over the arm of the couch.  

My feet don’t touch the ground.  My  face is pressed to the couch.

He raises my skirt.  i am not wearing panties.

One hand still in my hair, His other hand falls on my ass – hard.  

Again.

Again – over and over – His hand lands on my bare ass, as i begin to whimper.  Steadily, he whacks me.  

i begin to squirm.

It is not a nuanced spanking, the blows are rapid and they are all hard.  

i whimper.

There is no caressing inbetween the stinging rain of smacks on my ass, which is getting redder by the second.

i begin to cry.  Just a little bit, tears trickling down my face.

He continues, covering every inch of my ass, leaving no spot unmarked with the red warmth from His hand.

i’m squirming, trying to get away, i can’t help it, but with my feet off the floor and His hand in my hair, i’m stuck.

My chest heaves as i start to cry harder; i feel a tightness inside me loosen.  

A heaviness fades away.

i am still crying, still squirming, but  a barrier comes down.

My heart opens.  i slip into submission.

And the tears stop.  i had been sobbing, and now they’ve slowed to a trickle.  My ass is on fire, and i’m focused on His hand, which must also be burning, as hard as He’s spanking me, and still it falls steadily on my ass.

i slide into submission, and everything fades away except His hand and my ass.  As something shifts inside me, i am no longer squirming to escape.  

i sigh, and relax into the pain, allowing it to fill me, offering myself to it…

…offering myself to Him.

And He stops.  His stops as abruptly as He had started, and now my ass feels more exposed, red and hot and throbbing, raised up over the arm of the couch.

His hand still in my hair, He helps me stand.  Pulls my skirt off, leaving it pooled at my feet.

“Shirt,” He says, and i pull it off as quickly as i can.

Naked now, i shiver.

He tilts my head back so i’m looking directly into His face.  “What do you say?” He asks.

“Thank you, Sir,” i say, and i feel tears spill over again.  The “thank you” is coming from deep inside me, i mean it passionately.

He releases my hair then, goes back to His chair.  i am standing, bereft, until He says,

“Come show me.    Come please Me with your mouth.”

With great joy, i kneel before Him…

****************************************************

i don’t know.

i don’t know what i want.  

i don’t know what i need.

Maybe i’m just a fantasy writer.

Maybe i need to give myself some time.  Maybe i just need to take it slow, to be friends.  Maybe i’m not ready for a relationship.

Maybe i need to be spanked.  

i don’t know. 

 

 

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The Essay – at last

14 Jun

“Come here,” He says.  “Lean forward, give Me your breast.”

Kneeling in front of HIm, that is simple enough ~ i lean forward, moving my right breast toward His hand.   He reaches out and holds it, caresses the nipple with His thumb.

i whimper with delight; i think i sound like a puppy, but i can’t help it.  i’ve been waiting forever for His touch.  My pussy is so hot, so wet, it throbs and aches.  When He touches my nipple, it tugs on the line of sensation that runs directly to my pussy.  

“Now,” He says, “Let’s see what you have to say here.”    He glances at the paper in His other hand, reads quietly for a moment or two.  

i watch anxiously.

His hand on my breast catches the nipple, squeezes it between His thumb and middle finger.   i bite my lip.

He glances up from the essay, grinning.  “Categories?  You divided the reasons into categories?”

i’m a little embarrassed, but i nod.  “Yes, Sir.”

“And then sub-categories!”  He’s laughing a little.  My face feels hot. 

“That’s great!” He says.   i breathe a sigh of relief, although i think the fingers holding my nipple have tightened a little bit.  He’s reading again.

But He stops.  “No, you should read this to me.  Here.”  

i take it.  Now both His hands are free; He takes a nipple in each hand.   Holding them firmly ~ i’m aware of His grasp, but can still focus enough to read.

“Start at the beginning,” He says.

i begin to read.

“Why Spankings Are Good for Me.

      by aisha Hisservant 

There are three categories of reasons why spankings are good for me. One, they remind me of my submission.  Two, i ~”

and i pause here, swallow hard before i can go on ~

“i like them, and they make me hot.  Three, and most important, spankings please my Sir, and pleasing Him is what is MOST good for me.”

His fingers tighten on my nipples.  “Good,” He says.  “Go on.”  i am a little distracted, but my mind adjusts, accepts this new level of intensity.   

“When my Sir spanks me, it moves me deep into submission.  This can be good for me in two ways.  As a regular reminder of my submission, it keeps me in line.  Any urges i might have to disobey or not serve as well as i can disappear when i’m spanked.  i feel overwhelmed with a desire to please.  This urge comes from deep inside, and a spanking ~ well, it seems to pull the desire to the surface.  It allows me to recognize the feeling; inspires me to act on it.

Sometimes, i can feel embarrassed about how much i want to serve.”  i’m reading slowly now, kind of embarrassed to be saying these things.  But i wrote them, so i don’t have a choice now.

“Sometimes, i think my Sir might not really want my submission.”  

The fingers on my nipples tighten.  i glance up.  He’s frowning.  “Sir?”

“Keep going,” He says.

“But when He spanks me, it makes me feel like He does.  It lets me know that i belong to Him.  i guess those are what people call ‘maintenance spankings.’  They’re not punishment, they’re just a reminder of who i am, where my place is.

When a spanking makes me feel submissive, it releases a lot of tension too.  Everything disappears except the sensation, and the desire to please.  It’s a melting away, emptying myself feeling; it opens my heart.  That is so good for me.”

i glance up again, He’s smiling.  Relieved, i go on.

“Sometimes a spanking can be a punishment.  That’s good for me too when i need to be punished.  A punishment spanking doesn’t feel good at the time, but it makes me feel better afterwards.  It gets my attention, lets me know i’ve been blatantly out of line, and helps me move back into the appropriate mental space.” 

i’m moving through this pretty quickly now, very aware of His fingers on my nipples, just wanting to get through it.  It still makes me feel kind of stupid, all this stuff i’m saying.    

“Slow down,” He says.  Of course.

“Yes, Sir.”

“Think about what you’re saying.” He grins.  “Think about the spanking that’s coming at the end of this.”

i’m already so hot i didn’t think i could get any hotter without igniting, but i feel my juices flowing, my pussy clenches, i shudder.  He releases my nipples and i gasp.   He laughs.  Catches the nipples again, tighter this time?  i can’t tell.  Tight enough.  i want Him so badly.

“Read,” He says.

“Yes, Sir.”

“Spankings make me hot.  They turn me on.  i don’t know why.  They just do.  i guess maybe they always have.  It’s embarrassing, but it’s the truth.”

“Is your pussy hot now?  Wet?” He asks.  

“Yes, Sir!” i say.  “You KNOW it is!  How could it not be?”

He shakes His head.  “A simple ‘yes, Sir’ would have sufficed.  Do we need to add a punishment piece to the spanking?”

“No, Sir,” i say, then quickly add, “Unless You think we need to, Sir, in which case, i’d agree!”

“Keep reading,” He says.

“Finally, spankings are good for me because they please my Sir, and that’s what i want more than anything.  i think it pleases Him in a couple of ways.    i think He enjoys the act of spanking me.”  i glance up, raise my eyebrows a little, questioning, but ~

“Go on,” He says, impassive.

“i think He likes to feel my ass grow warm under His hand, see it turn red.  i think He enjoys hearing me moan and whimper.  i think those physical aspects of it are pleasant for Him.

i think He enjoys spanking me because He knows it’s good for me, and He takes pride in taking care of me.   He’s careful to make sure i get the things i need, and spanking is on the list.

And i think He likes it because it pleases Him that i will take more than i want to, more than feels good, for Him.  i think He likes to know that i’ll gladly accept the intensity, the pain, because it pleases Him.”

i watch His face as i read the last sentence.  

“i want to please Him more than anything.  Taking a hard spanking is just one small way i can do that.”

“O, good girl!” He says.  “Nicely done.  You’ve earned a real spanking.”

“Thank You, Sir,” i say, a little tentative.  i’m not completely sure this will be a reward, but i’m open to the possibility.

“What shall I use?” He asks.  “My hand, of course, for warm up and cool down, but in between?  Maybe the crop?  The spoon?  i know!  i’ll let you pick.  Pick three things.”

My mind freezes.  Pick three things?  i have to pick them?

 

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The Essay

13 Jun

“Come here,” He says.

i gasp.

He is behind me, right behind me, His voice in my ear, His hand in my hair.

i’d been sitting there naked forever, writing the essay He’d assigned.   Thank goodness, i’m finished.  

His hand in my hair guides me, away from the table, into the living room.   He stops me in front of His chair, a hand on my shoulder presses me down to my knees.

My pussy is throbbing already.  All this writing about spanking, thinking about it, thinking about my mouth on Him, His hands on me…  i am so wet already.

i kneel the way He likes, my knees slightly spread, back straight.  One hand rests on my thigh, palm up.  To my surprise, i’m holding the essay in my other hand.  

He laughs.  “I see you’re prepared.”

“Yes, Sir,” i say.

He takes the pages from me {yes, pages} and settles Himself in His chair.  “Let’s see how you did with this assignment,” He says.  “Because you know what happens to school girls who don’t do their work well…” and He looks at me in the way that makes my heart beat faster, makes me wetter, makes me hope beyond all reason that i’ve pleased Him.

“Yes, Sir,” i say.

“What happens to them?” He asks.  “Naughty school girls, what happens to them?”

“They – they get punished, Sir,” i say, and my pussy clenches, a shiver runs through me.

“That’s right,” He says.  “In front of the whole class, maybe.” He’s smiling, His voice is light and pleasant.  “If you were in My class, I’d make you come to the front of the room and bend over.  I’d have a bench and you’d have to bend over with both hands on the bench.

“Then I’d make you lift your skirt and pull your panties down.  Not all the way down, just to your knees.  I’d make you spread your legs just a little bit.”

“Yes, Sir,” i say, a little breathless.

“And then, while the rest of the class watches, I’d spank your ass.  How many licks should you get?”

“How – how many, Sir?”  i stammer.  “i – i don’t know,” and i know that’s the wrong answer, so i say, “Ten!  i should get ten licks.”

“Good girl,” He says, grinning.  “Ten is a good number.”  He looks at the papers in His hand.  “If your essay is good, I’ll give you ten licks.  At least ten.  Maybe more if it’s really good.”  And He chuckles.

“Now be quiet,” He says, “And let me read.” 

 

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Easy?

7 Jun

“Come here,” He says.

Delighted – at last! – i stand up.  i was getting sore, kneeling in the corner, and bored.  i have my five reasons why i need  “a good spanking,”  and i’m ready to present them to Him; ready to move on to the next part of the activities, whatever He has in mind. 

He is settled in His chair,  wearing a t-shirt, his cock in hand.  i smile.  Good things are going to happen.

“You’re smiling,” He says, and i can’t help it, my smile gets bigger and happier.  

“Yes, Sir.”

“Why is that?” He asks.

“Well, Sir, i thought of my five reasons why i need a good spanking, and now, Sir, seeing You like this makes me hope that i’ll be allowed to please You in some way.”

He nods.  “Good girl,” He says.  “Kneel back down here and tell me how you want to please Me.  Get your pillow.”

Happily, i kneel i front of Him, rocking back on my heels so i’m fairly comfortable.  “Yes, Sir,” i say.  And i begin.

“i want to please You with my mouth.  i’d like to come closer to you so i can lick Your cock, Sir.  Taste it.  Touch it with my tongue.  Lick it, like an ice cream cone, Sir.  

i want to caress Your cock with my lips. Take it in my mouth.  i want to put my hot, wet mouth over it, and slide it up and down.”  i glance at His face, hoping He’ll indicate i can begin, but He’s just listening.

When i pause, He says, “What else?  How else do you want to please me?”

A shiver runs through me.  My pussy throbs.  i know i’m wet, i can feel my juices on my inner thigh.

“With my pussy, Sir.”  These words are not so easy, but i push on.  “With my cunt.  i want Your cock deep inside me, i want to wrap my hot, wet pussy around your cock.  i want to feel myself impaled on Your cock, feel it pushing deep, deep inside me.”

i glance at Him, but He doesn’t look impressed.  He’s still holding His cock, but barely stroking it.  He shrugs.

“What else?” He says.  “I know you’ll fuck me, suck my cock, what else will you do to please me?”

i hesitate, but only a second.  “My ass, Sir.”  i say.  “You haven’t finished training me to ~ to ~” it’s just hard to say “to take your cock ~ to take your cock in ~ my ass, Sir.”

But He shrugs it off.  “O, I will,” He says, “But i’m not in the mood for that today.  How else can you please Me?”

For a second, i panic, and then i know – of course – “Spanking, Sir!” i say, feeling triumphant.  “You can spank me!  i need a good spanking.”  

Then i look at His face, and that wasn’t the right answer after all.  “Of course I can,” He says.  “But I’m thinking of other things right now.”

“Sir?” i say, a little worried.  “You can do anything You want to do, You know that, Sir.”

“Can I?” He says. 

“Of course,” i say.  “Just tell me how i can please you.”

i’m excited and scared.  i know there are a lot of things we haven’t done, and i have no idea what He wants.  But i don’t expect Him to say,

“I’m thinking about sharing you.”

All the blood drains out of my face, i can feel myself pale.  i sway.

He leans forward, moves his arm around me to grasp my hair, holding me firmly so i am looking at Him.  “What would you say to that, little girl?  What if I want to watch you use that mouth on someone else’s cock?”

The hand in my hair tightens, i gasp.  “Sir,” i say.  “Sir, i ~ i ~ we’ve never talked about this ~  i ~” and i stop, cause there’s nowhere good i can go from here.

My heart is pounding.  Didn’t i just tell Him that He could do anything He wanted to do?  Am i going to try to take that back now?  Could i take it back?

“Sir~” i say.

Still holding my  hair with one hand, He stops me by thrusting His thumb into my mouth.  Immediately, my mouth closes around Him, tentatively at first, i begin to suck his thumb, caressing Him with my tongue. 

i feel myself held securely between His hands.

He says, “Don’t say i can do anything i want unless you mean it,”

He says.  “I am just thinking about it now.  I can see it in my mind, like a picture.  Letting someone else see ~ letting them feel ~ what you can do with that mouth.  Knowing that you belong to me so much that i can lend you out.  I’m just thinking about it now.  But if I decide I want you to do it, you will obey.”

i can barely move my head, but i manage to nod.  Looking at Him now, being held like this, naked on my knees, caught between His hands, there is no doubt.  Of course i’ll obey Him.

“Good.”  He smiles. “I’m going to take my thumb out of your mouth, and put My cock in it.  Are you ready?” He asks.

i nod, with more enthusiasm, and He does just that ~ His thumb comes out, and His cock slides in.  With His hand in my hair, it’s easy for Him to push my face down.  In a flash, He slides deeper, deeper into my throat.  i struggle to relax the back of my throat so He can slide all the way in.

i gag a little, and know that i am pleasing Him.  He enjoys the feeling of my throat tightening on Him, and He doesn’t make me take it too long.  He pulls back a little to let me regain control before pushing His way back in.  Quickly, i have tears spilling over from gagging.  

He pulls all the way back out.

“Now,” He says.  “Tell me now.  What are the five reasons spankings are good for you?”  “

My mind is racing – wait, i know this, i just listed them ~ wait ~~

               ~~ my mind is blank ~~ 

“BZZZZZ”  He buzzes like a game show host, He’s laughing,  “you lose,” he says.     

“Wait,” i say, “Please, Sir, i do know, i just can’t think ~” and i can’t help laughing a little bit too, it’s so ridiculous, kneeling there, tears running down my face, and i can’t think at all.

He releases my hair, takes a nipple in each hand, and pinches.  Hard.  “Now?” He says.  “Can you think now?”

i can barely remember the question, i’m gasping, a whimper slips out, “Sir ~ i ~um” i’m trying to focus ~

He releases my nipples.  

“I’ll ask you one more time,” He says.  “Give me five reasons why spankings are good for you.”

“Because ~~~ ” but all i can think is that i know this, i should know this, why can’t i think of it????

He’s laughing.  “That’s ok,” He says.  “We’ve got all day.  Maybe if you write Me an essay about it.”

“Sir,” i say, and i want to say “no, i don’t wanna write an essay, i know the answer, i just can’t remember,” but i i haven’t actually lost my mind.  i bite my lip, hard, holding the words back.   

“Yes?” He says, eyebrows raised.

“Yes, Sir,” i say.  “i’d love to write you an essay.”

Sigh.

 

i thought this was gonna be easy.

 

 

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He Says

6 Jun

“Come here,” He says.

i go to Him quickly ~ i had been punished just the day before for being slow to come when He called, and did not want to repeat that experience.  i stand in front of him, waiting.

i am wearing His shirt, unbuttoned in the front.

“I want your mouth,” He says, and i would have grabbed the pillow for my knees immediately.  i would have been happy to caress Him with my mouth, and He knows that.

“But first,” He says, before i can reach for the pillow, “First,” He says, “You need a good spanking.”

My heart beats faster.  Not just a spanking, but a “good” spanking.  Why is that more humiliating?  

“Yes, Sir,” i say.

“Don’t you agree?” He asks.  “Don’t you think you need a spanking?”

“Yes, Sir,” i say.  His eyebrows go up and i quickly add, “i do, i need a good spanking.”

He laughs  “And I’m just the person to give it to you, right?”

“Yes Sir, of course You are,” i say.  My pussy is throbbing, and He knows it.

“The shirt?” He says, and the eyebrows go up again.  

Quickly, i slip it off, fold it in half, lay it over a chair.  He nods.   

Standing before Him naked, waiting for the spanking, i feel just a bit uncomfortable.  i wish He would have me kneel.  But i wait.

“Why do you need a spanking?” He asks.

i am lost for a moment, why do i?  Um, um ~ o!  “Because You said so, Sir,” i say.

He laughs.  “Yes.  And that’s a good enough reason.  But why else?  Why would I think you need a good spanking?  Stand right now, and answer me.”

When He says “Stand right,” i realize my posture is lazy, and i correct it.  i move my shoulders back, arms resting at my sides, center my balance, spread my legs a little.  Chin up, eyes down.

“Put your arms behind your back,” He says.

i do, and that pushes my breasts out, offers them.

“Better,” He says.  “Now answer me.  Why would I think you need a good spanking?”

i’m at a loss.  i don’t think i’ve done anything wrong, don’t think it’s punishment, although it could be.  i’m wracking my brain, trying to think what i might have done wrong.  Of course, that’s a long list, and i don’t want to just randomly start suggesting things.

“Perhaps you need more time to think,” He says.

i nod, grateful for the reprieve, and He says, “In the corner,” which is not what i had in mind.  “Take your pillow, i want you on your knees, face in the corner.”

This is an unexpected turn of events, but i grab my pillow on the way.  

Once i am settled into my position, kneeling, head pressed to the wall, He stands behind me.  “Five reasons,” He says.  “Five reasons why a good spanking is good for you.”

i’m mentally kicking myself – i know a lot of reasons, why didn’t i realize this was what He wanted?  We could already be through with this part of it.

“I’ll be back,” He says.  “When I come back, I want to hear your reasons, and I want to hear you ask nicely for the spanking you need.  Is that clear?”

“Yes, Sir,” i say, and if my voice is a little muffled because my face is in the corner, it must still be loud enough.  

“That’s my girl,” He says, and i hear Him walk away.

“One,” i think, “A spanking is good for me because it helps me relax.  Well, not during, but after.”

“Two,” i think, “A spanking is good for me because it reminds me of my submission.”

“Three,” i think, “A spanking is good for me because ~ because it makes me feel cared for.”

“Four,” i think, “A spanking is good for me because ~ um…  because ~~ O!  It makes me hot, it makes my pussy wet!”

“Five,” i think, “A spanking is good for me because ~ because ~ um, because ~ one, it helps me relax, two, reminds me of my submission, three, makes me feel cared for, four, makes me hot, and ~ and ~ ” and my heart starts beating faster, what if He comes back now, Omg, what’s another reason?  Quick ~ quick ~ think…”

And of course the more i panic, the harder it is to think, and i tick them off again ~ one – relax, two – submission, three – cared for, four – wet pussy, and five????  What is five?

i hear his footsteps, or maybe i feel them, coming toward, and i know he won’t be pleased ~ and then it clicks.

Five.  Five is because it pleases Him, and pleasing Him is what i need more than anything.  i smile to myself.  Yes.  i’ve got it.  This will be easy.


 

 

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Tired

14 Apr

“Come here,” He says.

i stand in front of Him.  It’s late, and i’m tired.  i try to put some enthusiasm in my stance.

“Take off your robe,” He says.  i slide it off, letting it pool at my feet.  i am naked.

His gaze is steady on me.  Then ~

“Come here,” He says, holding out His arms.

i crawl into His lap.  Curl up in His arms. 

He snuggles me close to Him. 

Strokes my hair.

Softly, close to my ear, He says, “I think you need to be spanked.”

A shiver runs through me that shakes my body. 

My pussy clenches. 

The rest of my body begins to relax.  Yes, yes i do need to be spanked.

“Here,” He says, and He helps me stand up.  He moves to the couch, sits down, and helps me arrange my body so i’m lying face down, draped over His lap.

i sigh.  It feels good just to lie here like this.

Then He raises one knee, and i become more aware that my ass is poised for a spanking.  i feel the roughness of His jeans against my body.

He rubs my ass, and i sigh with pleasure.  Ahhhhhh.  He could do that for days, and i’d be perfectly happy.

His hand slides between my legs.  i am already wet, His fingers slip inside me, and i whimper, moan.  Press myself back towards him.   Ohhhhhhh.  Nice….

Fingers withdrawn.

There is a pause – that moment – when i know His hand is rising, hovering above my ass ~ that breath-holding moment before ~~

                                    WHACK!!!

it lands, His hand lands on my right ass cheek – O!!!

Waves of sensation ripple through my body. O, i can feel that through my legs, all the way to my feet.  O.

i sigh, i can feel my body letting go.  When the second one lands, i welcome it.

He settles into a rhythm, rubbing lightly, then smacking hard.  i know my ass will have His hand prints.  The thought makes me smile.

In a minute, i will begin to squirm.  i’ll begin to want Him to stop again.  And i know that He won’t.

He won’t stop until He’s ready to. 

Mmmmmm.  i settle in.  Wrap my arms around His thigh.

He continues  ~ rub ~ spank ~ rub ~ spank, but the rhythm has picked up speed ~ the rubbing is less, the smack, the stinging smack follows quickly.

i whimper.

And then there is barely a rub between the smacks, His hand brushes my ass as He raises it to bring it down again ~

O!

My legs are moving, squirming, trying to push ~

O!

My thoughts stop ~ there is only sensation, the stinging, burning heat of my ass ~~~~  

~~~~ and as His hand lands yet again, and i think i may not be able to take this, this may be too much ~~~~

He says, “Breathe.  Breathe now,” and

 i let my breath out, inhale deeply – O – yes, i had stopped, stopped breathing, this is better, yes… and my body goes limp as i welcome the pain, breathe into it, breathe through it….

and He stops.

“Good girl,” He says.

His hand strokes my ass, tenderly, tracing the welts, the marks of His fingers.

“Can you get up?” He asks.

i consider.  My legs may be a little wobbly, but i think i can.  “Yes, Sir, i think so,” i say.

“I want you to get up,” He says, “and go get ready for bed.  I’ll come tuck you in, in a minute.”

i stand, a little shaky, but He steadies me.  And then ~ i can’t just walk away.  i feel ~

~my body feels ~ tingly ~ i feel satisfied ~ so satisified, as if i’ve had a half-dozen orgasms.   And i can’t just walk away ~ i want to tell Him, and i can’t find the words.  But i turn to Him ~

~ He is standing too, i look up at Him, and i say the only words i can find, “Thank You, Master.”

He just smiles, fists His hand in my hair, and turns me toward the  bedroom.

“Go,” He says.

 

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Springtime

4 Apr

i got some stuff cleaned up around here, and even cut the grass for the first time of the season this weekend – just the backyard, cause that’s “weed-grass” and will be knee high before i know it.

And how vanilla is that as a start for this post?

When actually, spring turns this woman’s thoughts to cocks and spankings and such… 

The sound of First Sir’s belt coming out of the loops.  The whoosh of floggers being wielded expertly.  A yardstick landing with a CRACK.  Squirming, wanting to get away, wanting more.

His cock.  Not just any cock, but His cock.  The taste, the feel of it.  Kneeling in front of Him, touching it with my tongue.  Licking.  Sucking.  Sliding it deep into my throat…

His hands.   Stroking, pinching, caressing…

Slipping deep into that space in my head where only He exists, where obedience is everything.  Longing to please.  To offer.

Sigh. 

 Springtime.

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More Q and A

18 Mar

Feeling better this morning, thank goodness, after a long day at work yesterday.

Saw a comment from Sfp first thing – i’ve gotten in the habit of checking my iphone as soon as i wake up to see if there’s anything exciting going on – and there she was.  She needs us to move the bloggers convention back from the first weekend in June since her kiddos will still be with her til the 9th.

Dear Sfp – will you come if we make it a different date?  Really???? That would be sooo cool.

Here’s what i was thinking – why i picked the first weekend in June.  i wanted to anchor it to a first weekend so we’d have the option of going to the munch – and, for anyone who wanted to, the play party afterwards.

We don’t have to anchor it to the munch/play party.  Or –

The first weekend in July is connected with the 4th of July holiday.  i thought that might be an advantage for people who were traveling, but also that people were more likely to be tied to family plans.  Plus, i think Mick and Molly might be at their Southwestern location for that weekend.

The first weekend in August would be fine with me, and i’d be willing to put it off that long if Mick and Molly and Donna and Bill would still be able to make it, if it means Sfp and maybe some other folks can come.  The down side of August is that it tends to be humid and nasty here, but i’ll be living with it anyhow.

So let me know your thoughts.  i think there was one other person who thought she and her Master might be able to come in June, and i haven’t heard from her yet.  Plus e-woman – i don’t know what might work for her.  Fortunately, there is still time to work it out.

We could even have a preliminary get-together in June and the real convention in September, if Mick and Molly and Donna and Bill were open to that.  i don’t know.  i’m easy.  And they wouldn’t both have to be here… although they could be.

On a different note  –

Got a question, as a number of us did, from Little Monkey.  She wants to know:

“How much physical damage is too much, for you? What are your limits on that? How much is too much? Where do you and yours draw the line? Bad bruising, welts, drawing blood, marks lasting a few days , or a few weeks, permanent scarring? What are your feelings on this topic?”

Good question, LM.  i gotta tell you – i think i sound like i’ve got all kinds of experience, but for real –

as close as i’ve gotten to “lasting marks” was when FS whacked me on the shoulder with his belt a couple of times.  It left welts that night, and the next morning there were tiny red welt marks that i could see if i looked really hard.

i liked that, but when i shared that with him,he got upset about it – he had not intended to leave marks!  What if i’d had to wear something that showed my shoulders?

i tried to reassure him that i really hardly ever wear off the shoulder dresses to my job in community mental health, but he wasn’t having it.  He threatened never to spank me again –

– which would have been a cruel punishment, wouldn’t it?  Especially since it wasn’t my fault i mark easy!

Of course, there was Sir D, and the marks from the risotto spoon:

 

The Spoon

And the marks it left:

 

It's 3/4 inches thick, maple wood. He barely tapped me with it. Need I say more?

 

 i was really proud of those.  But typically, by the next day, whatever marks there might have been have faded into obscurity.

Permanent scaring would be too much. 

Drawing blood would be too much.

i don’t know about marks – bruises or welts  – that last a few days or weeks – i guess not.  The risotto spoon experience seemed pretty intense to me, and the marks faded quickly.  i don’t know what it would take to leave more.

But i do like marks, and you know, that seems to be the kind of thing that changes over time.  So i’m not totally locked into an answer.   Also, you know me, it would depend on how “He” felt about it

Thanks for asking, LM.   It is still Q & A month, so if you got ’em, ask ’em…

And let me know – let’s continue the discussion about dates for the blogger convention.

 

 

 

 

 

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Missing the kink

10 Mar

i had no idea that my strange little fantasy yesterday would get such a strong reaction – i mean, really, if i’ve squicked out ‘Nilla, i think i should get some kind of prize…  {laughing} 

So my internet’s back, and because i’m so happy to have the universe back, i’ve spent my writing time catching up on OPB’s.  Nice way to spend time, not so good for my blog.

Got this from Donna last night:

and thought i’d share it here.  Classic Donna, right?

{Mick – there’s no conflict of interest here, right?  i know you’ve got her on your masthead, but you don’t have an exclusive contract, do you?}

MoR didn’t get the house He was chasing yesterday, so the hunt continues…  We’ve barely communicated still, thanks to Him being busy and me not having internet yesterday.  Although, i was able to download g-talk on my iphone for the future, but by the time i got it done, it was my bedtime.

And look at this post – where’s the kinky sex?

No where to be found.

i don’t mean my blog has to be about sex all the time – obviously not.  But you know, here i am and – o, never mind.

****************************************

One hand in my hair, He pushes me over the arm of the couch.  His hands are firm, insistent.  He rubs my ass.

And releases me.  Steps back.  i can feel a pocket of cool air around me – He had been heating me, now i gasp with shock.

i can hear Him, busy with something.  i hope it’s something for me, waiting here, ass in the air.  i feel like crying – doesn’t He know i need His touch?

And then – at last – He’s back – His hands rubbing, touching, fingers sliding deep into my pussy, feeling the wetness waiting there for Him.  i wiggle, trying to impale myself deeper on His finger. 

He laughs.  “That’s it,” He says, “Can you talk another?” but the next finger is inside me before He’s finished asking, and i moan, omigosh, yes.

Then, fingers still inside me, He begins to smack my ass, alternating cheeks, slowly at first, then faster, building speed as He goes.  

i am squirming, then struggling, but the fingers inside me hold me firmly in place.  There is no escape.

And, dismayed, i realize that i am getting wetter all the time.  That through the fiery pain on my ass, my arousal is clear.

i don’t want Him to keep spanking me, truly i don’t.  He shows no signs of letting up, it is a fierce spanking, and i’m whimpering first, then crying out – O- and finally –

i begin to say, “O, please stop – please – that’s enough  – please, Master, that hurts, that really hurts…”

And He continues, each smack landing exactly where He wants it, since with His fingers inside me, He can move me the way He wants… and He does, He raises my ass to meet His hand as it falls on –

– each smack makes me cry out now, and i plead with Him… until – quite suddenly –

i reach that space where i relax into it again.  It still hurts – make no mistake about it – it hurts, but i can reach for it, offer it instead of fighting it.

i relax and He can tell that i’m in that other space…

He doesn’t stop there, He doesn’t stop, but the slaps on my ass feel different now, and i moan and whimper with a different tone.  i want this now, want to be His, want to belong, want Him to do as He pleases with me…

“Who do you belong to?” He asks.

“You, Master, i belong to You.”

 

 

 

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