No, you can’t have fiona every day, i’m sorry. Life is not all about training schools and good times. {Laughing…} But she’ll be back, i think she has a thing or two to learn about obedience.
But then don’t we all?
i finished 50 Shades of Grey ~ yes, light years after everyone else ~ and i only bought it cause it was on the counter of the used book store and i had money left on my gift certificate ~ but still, now i have things to say about it.
i liked it. No, really.
Well, maybe i should have said first that i’ve always been a somewhat indiscriminate reader. i’ve read more bad novels and even a certain number of Harlequin romances than i would care to admit to.
Um, i guess i read books like some people watch TV, some of the time. i mean, i read what i think of as “good” books {or even “real” books} too. Classics and work-connected stuff and some great fiction and essays and all that.
And i read junk. Preferably good junk ~ in my mind, Nora Roberts is the best of escapist literature, but Danielle Steele and a slew of others can serve the same purpose. Mindless and fun.
Fifty Shades is not as well-written as Nora Roberts, not as satisfying as J.D.. Robb, and if it didn’t have the kink element, it really would have been a Harlequin romance, and not a nine-days wonder.
The sex scenes weren’t bad, ~ maybe not great, but not bad, and i thought she pretty well captured that element of control that Doms do which may be my favorite part of TTWD..
i thought it was unfortunate that Christian {apparently} didn’t have a community to introduce Ana to. Maybe that happens in one of the later books? But i’m guessing not.
Or ~ lacking a real-life community ~ think how nice it would have been for her to have discovered the blogging community. She could have started out commenting, but i think she needed her own blog.
Can’t you imagine her writing out her concerns, releasing some of that angst? And then we could have reassured her and helped her understand how it works.
That whole obsession she gets with wanting to touch him when he doesn’t want her to and her insistence on hearing his life story ~ really, that was awfully intrusive, but then she doesn’t have any experience in romantic relationships either.
So rather than getting in touch with herself, it seems that all of her energy is directed to trying to understand Christian. She’s not focused on exploring her own sexuality, or enjoying what’s there and seeing where it takes them. You know? One of the things i value about the kink world is the self-exploration, and she does so little of that.
Yep, she needed a blog. We would have been a big help to her. And maybe him too! If Christian had been in touch with DV or Florida Dom or David, they could have given him sage advice.
Of course, i haven’t read the last two books, maybe there is still some emotional growth and a happy ending in store for us.
On a whole different note, i just started a book called Vagina, by Naomi Wolf, which i may or may not actually finish. But the part that’s fascinating, so far, is that apparently women have all kinds of complex neural wiring from the genital region and apparently the reason some of us are more responsive to certain types of orgasms than others is simply because of different wiring.
Yeah.
So if you only have orgasms with clitoral stimulation, it’s because that’s what your “wiring” is best connected to. Doesn’t mean you’re necessarily limited to that, but that’s always going to be easiest.
My problem with the book, unfortunately, is that i don’t trust her information. She talks about orgasm as if it’s something that has to be carefully coaxed from a woman by dint of gentleness and patience, at least that’s what i think she’s saying, and we know that’s not always true.
BUT ~ before i dismiss her ~ maybe she’s really talking about women needing a sense of safety in order to orgasm. She has a complex explanation of this, involving the autonomic and sympathetic nervous systems. That makes more sense. So for her, feeling safe means one’s partner is gentle and slow ~ for us, it might mean we’re tied to the bed and being whipped.
No, really, that is what some of us need in order to give up control…
The challenge for me in reading this book is that it’s difficult to absorb new information and try to adapt it to what i know to be true at the same time.
Anyhow.
i haven’t responded to comments on my post on spirituality yet, at the time i’m writing this post. i am so amazed and touched at the lovely responses that it takes me a while to absorb them and respond. Thank you all for being ~ well, you know, who you are.
To those of you who offered to send me book lists ~ yes, please. That would be lovely.
Physically, i’m feeling much better, and emotionally too, although i don’t expect an angst-free state for a while. Ms. Constance’s blog post today really resonated with me ~ you can read it here ~ but the part that hit home for me was this:
Paralysis isn’t wasted. I think the inability to move forward, or what feels like that, is often really the lesson in listening to oneself, that small, still voice that is so often drowned out, when the world is too much with us, late and soon.
Thanks, Ms. Constance.