Archive | November, 2012

Fantasies of Rape and More

29 Nov

After my post yesterday, i got a comment from ‘Nilla that included this:

do you (and I say this knowing that you’ve had past trauma, so I’m just being flat-out nosey here, and hoping this isn’t a trigger of any kind)…have rape fantasies? That’s the one thing I keep coming back to as that “fantasy that I wish would just go away” and doesn’t. I dunno…maybe i”m weird…but the thing that gets me hot and stewy is the idea of being taken, used…not so much in a violent, knock ya down and fuck, but “this is what I’m gonna do…gonna get you all turned on against your will..t.hen fuck your brains out” kind of way.

That would be a kind of amended rape fantasy, right?

My friend, Jade, from The Chrysanthemum and The Sword came back with this in her comment:

@Nilla….i’m sure Aisha will point this out as well….but rape fantasy is incredibly normal. It makes sense that we would want to have a situation that allows for us to have the intensity of such an experience removed from the guilt our culture/religion tries to dump on us for not being “good/pure enough.” If it helps, i will share that i have been raped a few times in life mostly as a child, and occasionally have a fantasy that on the face of it is a rape fantasy. Real rape is, obviously, not what this is about. But who among us doesn’t crave full loss of control, at least at times? i liken it to the way that it is common for gays/lesbians to have sexual fantasies about straight sex and vice versa. It does not mean you really want that.

Jade’s right, of course.  Well said.

What i’ve read and heard suggests that rape fantasies allow us to enjoy sex without guilt.  To throw our inhibitions aside and really let go.  To give up control.

And if your rape fantasy includes the idea that he will “get you all turned on against your will..then fuck your brains out” ~ well, that makes me think of Clark Gable sweeping Scarlet up the stairs ~ one of the most romantic scenes i know.   i always imagined ~ once i was old enough to imagine what was happening upstairs ~ that it was very like the fantasy you describe.

i promise you, being raped is not like that.

People do sometimes get turned on when they’re being raped though.   Their bodies may begin to respond.  Some people take this to mean they “enjoyed it” in the sense of wanting it to happen.

This can be very confusing for the person who’s been raped.  They may think that they are complicit in the rape because their bodies responded.

i recently heard a story of the way one therapist addressed this with a woman she was working with, who had been raped as a young girl.  

The therapist brought an onion to the session.  Without any explanation, she asked the client to help her peel it.   The client thought it was a little odd, but of course she agreed.

As they peeled the onion, tears began to run down their cheeks.

“Look at us,” says the therapist, “Sitting here crying.  Why are we crying?  Do we want to cry?”

“No,” says the client.

“Does it mean we’re sad?” asks the therapist.

“No, of course not,” says the client.  “Oh, wait I get it!!”

“Yes,” says the therapist.  “Sometimes our bodies just respond and it doesn’t have anything to do with what we want or how we feel.”

The other thing about fantasy is that ~ it’s fantasy.  In a fantasy, who’s in control?  Not inside the fantasy, i mean, who’s directing the fantasy?

i am!  For sure.  If it takes a turn i really don’t like, i can go back and erase it.  Um, delete it.  i can redo it.

In many ways, the same thing is true with kink.  Because it’s consensual, the submissive or slave actually has the ultimate control.

Yes, we give up control.  The key word there is “give up.”  In order to give something up, you have to have it in the first place.

And really, that control can always be taken back.  If you’re truly in a BDSM situation, and not an abusive situation disguised as BDSM, then you always have the option of walking away, and often you have the option of negotiating changes.

So in a way, BDSM allows us to explore our fantasies.  Safely.  Rape fantasies, spanking fantasies, whatever fantasies may lurk in the corners of our mind.

But as Jade pointed out, just because we have a particular fantasy, doesn’t necessarily mean we want it to come true.  Story of O turned me on immensely, and gave me great fodder for fantasy, but i really did not want to live my whole life like that.

Um.

At least i don’t want the part where she has to wear the ring and go with anyone who’s also wearing the ring.   And i’ll take a pass on the getting branded scene.  Although it’s a hot scene…

Anyhow, i think that my own fantasies tell me something about myself.  My Dash of Fantasy with Naomi ~ i think it means more to me than just the sexual/kinky parts of it.  But i don’t know what yet…

Speaking of which, i guess i’d better get back to writing that or i won’t have a new Naomi post for tomorrow…

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The Last Liebster Questions

28 Nov

Ancilla, from Slave to Master, gave me the Liebster Award.  Thank you, Ancilla!!  

i think of Ancilla as one the new generation of bloggers ~ she started blogging in August. She’s been married since 1993, but they just recently added kink to the relationship, which  fascinates me.  You can visit her blog here, 

Here are her questions:

1. When did you realize were “kinky”, if ever?  Well, the tendencies were there quite young, but i didn’t have a name for it that i could accept til about  8 or so years ago.

2. What is your favorite fantasy?  Um, see A Dash of Fantasy. At least, that’s my favorite for the moment.

3. What is the fantasy that you wish would get out of your head, but keeps coming back, if there is one?  i don’t think there is one.  i used to wish all my kinky fantasies would go away, but that was a long time ago.

4. Where do feel most at home?  Not to sound corny, but at home.  i’ve lived in the same house for a long time, and just in the last few years have made it reflect my self and grown to love it.  With Sir living here now, it’s really my perfect home.

5. What do you most want from the person you are with, whether that is a partner/Dom/sub/slave/Master?  To be seen ~ truly seen as i am ~ and loved.

6. Why do you write a blog?  i started out writing it because i discovered it was fun to write about the kinky things i was doing, then i discovered that it was helpful for me to write about what i was thinking and feeling.  Then i discovered the blogging community and the circle of support i have here.  It’s still all of those things ~ fun, helpful, and a community.  If it ever quits being that, i guess i’ll quit blogging.

7. What is your favorite TV show?  Um, L.A. Law?  i used to love that show.   It ran from 1986- 1994, and i quit watching TV in ’95, when we moved to this house.  i haven’t watched ~ except occasionally ~ since then.  

8. Favorite dessert?  O, ice cream.  Chocolate, chocolate chunk.  In a waffle cone.

9. Favorite time of day?  Early morning.  Even when i was a little kid, i’d get up long before anyone else, before dawn, and enjoyed it.  When my kids were little, it was my time to breathe.  And i made it through graduate school by doing a bunch of studying before anyone else was up.

10. Do you believe in God/ are you a spiritual person?   i don’t believe in the traditional, patriarchal image of God.  i’ve recently realized that i’m not Catholic any more, but  i am very spiritual.  i’m “seeking” these days to define and explore what i do believe.

That could be a whole blog post by itself.  Enough to say that i believe that “God is Love” is a good starting place. 

11. What is your favorite sexual position?  Missionary style ~ Him on top, but with my knees raised.  Simple but effective.

Great questions, Ancilla, and thanks again for the award!

While i’m blogging this morning anyhow, there’s something on my mind.  It’s one of those “do i really want to put this on the blog?” kind of things, and i debated it with myself for a bit.

i don’t know sometimes if my reticence is a sign that i shouldn’t talk about something, that it’s really too private, or if it means i need to look at my feelings around whatever-it-is.

But yeah, i’m gonna talk about it.  Here i go.

i have been thinking for a while that i wanted to be more connected to Sir in a kink way.  We are very connected in many ways, and. i wasn’t trying to solve a problem, just looking for ways to build what we have.

So i thought, hmmmm,  maybe i need to spend some time every day ~ a few moments, an hour, whatever ~ paying attention to His cock.

Or maybe not.

The idea would come back, and i’d push it away.   i’d think, no, that needs to be His idea.  i’d think, no, i don’t wanted to commit to that.   

You know, i have issues around this kind of “you have to” commitment.   Really, if it had been His idea, it might have freaked me out.

So i kept circling around it.  

Remember that book someone wrote recommending couples commit to having sex {with each other} every day for 30 days?   That seems contrived and the idea of having to have sex on a day i don’t want to kind of makes me sick at my stomach.

{Laughing…} i said i had issues, didn’t i?   Don’t ask me why that’s different from being always accessible to Sir.  i don’t know exactly, it just is.

Anyhow.  Despite that, the idea of adding a component of cock worship to my usual routine of sitting at His feet, and making sure we did it daily, kept coming back to me.

Monday, i approached Him with the idea.  A little worried.  You know, what if, what if, what if….

i wasn’t afraid He’d think i was topping from the bottom, i can tell him anything, suggest anything, if He doesn’t want it, He’ll say no.  

This kind of suggestion would have to come from me, it’s not the kind of thing He’s likely to think of.  He doesn’t spend time reading blogs, He’s more likely to be thinking about tethers and paddles and hands-on implements of kink.  So if it was going to happen, it had to come from me.

Once i’d really decided, it was surprisingly easy to do.

And um, maybe not surprisingly, He thought it was a lovely idea.   He was not against it at all.   {laughing…}

So we started last night, we’re going to try every day for 30 days and see what happens.  It doesn’t have to be a full-out, goal oriented thing, if you know what i mean, but at least some time spent in cock-worship.

And we’ll see how it goes…

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Third Time’s the Charm

26 Nov

This is the third post i’ve started today.  And it’s almost 6:00 ~ almost time to hit “publish.”  But i don’t have the next Fantasy piece done, and the one i started to do today doesn’t feel like where i need to be, so here i am.

Babbling.

i went to the Fourth Sunday munch last night.  Ms. Constance and Drew weren’t there, so it was a bit different experience than usual.  Fun, though.  

i talked to some different people ~ Kenny, for one, who has a practically endless supply of amusing stories, mostly about himself and his experiences.  That was fun.

i think about how different it feels now than it did back even a year ago.   How nice it is not to feel awkward and uncomfortable there.

And it was nice to come home.  Sir got home just a few minutes after i did ~ he spends Sundays with his daughter and grandkids.  Sometimes, i do too.  Sometimes not.  

i’m feeling so much this morning ~~ maybe i can capture some of it here ~~

A Poem

Last night, there were spankings

and orgasms 

the pleasures of cuddling

with my ass still stinging, just a bit.

Today, i’m feeling lucky

overwhelmed with happy, counting the ways

that life continues to smile on me

and make me smile back.

My palms tingle

as if i can feel the energy of my life in my hands.

Partly your energy.

 The invisible connection between you and me

feeds me.

My family, my professional family,

staff and clients and bosses and friends ~

~  the circles of friends in my vanilla life.  

 All those connections linger in the air around me.

And through it all, around it and over,

my Sweet Sir,

who loves me and lets me love Him.  

Who holds me and stands with me.  

Questions and pushes and stretches me,

Lifts me, unwraps me ~~

Sees me.  

He fills me with joy

makes my heart dance and

feeds my soul.

 

Littles and Furries and…

24 Nov

…Homo’s, O, My!”  That’s what Kenny said last night, as he looked around Ms. Constance’s living room.

The little’s and the furry {i think there was actually just one} are stretched out on the floor coloring.  Kenny is representing the gay contingency himself, and therefore has the liberty of using the “Homo” label.

It’s an interesting gathering ~ Ms. Constance’s Thanksgiving celebration on the day after.   Ten or twelve of us enjoying fabulous pumpkin pie, Cookie Slut’s caramel blondies, some kind of cake, and even my own chocolate covered strawberries. 

We had just gotten through talking about horse cocks.  No, not the real thing, although i think the conversation started with someone remember a person who was hung rather like the equine stereotype.  Or maybe Sir started it by asking about where He could find an authentic riding crop.  Who knows…

In any case, the conversation turned to replicas of specific horse cocks ~ i mean, how would you know if it was really Secretariat’s cock or not?  And sperm whale cocks too, ‘Nilla.  Apparently some vendor at an event was selling them.

Most of us felt that the regular dildo’s that one attaches to the shower with a suction device were adequate for our needs, without requiring one that was so big that ~

 ~ when you set it down on the table, the weight of it bent it over “like a slinky.”

As Ms. Constance said, who thinks that’s an attractive description of a cock?  Have you ever heard someone say, “O, god, his cock looks just like a slinky?” like it was a good thing?

No, me either.

Anyhow.  We talk about how they got the models for the casts of the horse and whale cocks.  We were imaging all kinds of things, but Ms. Tammy straightens that out.  Apparently, they take pictures and create a 3-d model from the pictures, so “no animals are harmed  in the making of these cocks.  Or aroused!”

Anyhow, i sit at Sir’s feet for a long time, which is interesting to do in front of a room full of people.  Firsts…  

Eventually, it gets too uncomfortable, and i move to a chair.  We old submissives get to take some liberties here and there.

But it’s a delightful get-together.  Lots of laughter, and the pleasure of being able to talk about those things we  don’t usually share.

Of course, it isn’t all kinky.  Drew tells a wonderful story about him and Ms. Constance on their way out to dinner on Thanksgiving, stopping to help a 90 pound Hispanic man trying to push a small truck up a slight incline.

Drew’s linguistic skills come into play when he has to convince the man that his 250 pound friend, who’s steering the car, should actually be pushing instead.   “El Grosso hombre ~ HERE,” says Drew…

But it works, and the larger man and Drew are able to push the vehicle back into a service station/ parking lot.  At which point, one of the men in the lot looks up and says, ‘Truck won’t start?”

With a snort, Drew says, “No, we were just bored and thought we’d get out and push the truck around a while.”

He cracks me up, Drew does, and then Ms. Constance, who may have heard his snort, reminds me of my little, harmless snort at the event the other afternoon.  And Sir Charles graciously confirms that it had, indeed been a snort.

And i have to laugh, because i’ve gotten in trouble for a smart ass reply to Sir that very day.  You can imagine how comfortable i’m feeling that i decide to share the story with this crew of folks.  

It starts with me in the kitchen ~ making chocolate covered strawberries, actually.  Sir is talking about the bamboo poles He bought at Lowe’s.  He says,

“I’ve been thinking about maybe tying them together.  What do you think would work better?  To use them separately, or to tie all three of them together?”

And i say, without missing a beat, “i think they would work better in the garden with the roses, Sir.”  And, um, i laugh.

{It still makes me laugh.  AND it was an honest answer.}

Sigh.

Sir is not so amused.  He says something about missing an opportunity to give my thoughtful opinion, and He barely gives me time to wash the chocolate off my hands before i find myself bent over the bed, panties down, while we experiment with the bamboo canes.

Yeah

i think that we are actually not through with that experiment, because He only used one by itself, and then two and then three together, but now He wants to try each one in combination with each of the others… and yeah.  You get the picture.  Once again, i will “pay with my ass.”

And it would be good if i could quit feeling like i’m going to giggle every time i think about it.

Anyhow, everyone laughed as i told the story, and Ms. Constance was moved to gift Sir with a souvenir of the evening.

It’s a dowel rod, with a handle added, painted a lovely red.   

Just what Sir needed, right?   i’m sure i won’t forget the 2012 Thanksgiving celebration at Ms. Constance’s.

“Thank you, Ms. Constance.”

Giggle….

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Happy Thanksgiving

22 Nov

i have so much to be thankful for this year, it’s hard to know where to start.

In the last year, i’ve become a grandmother, retired, started my own business, traveled to Very-Far-Away, and gotten to know so many wonderful people.   i’m thankful for those experiences and the people who’ve shared them with me.

In the last year, i found my real Sir, and started building a life with Him.  

i’m thankful for my blog.  Writing here leads me into a deeper understanding of myself, and has introduced me to many of you.  Well, most of you reading this.  

i’m thankful for you, my cyber-friends.  i love reading your blogs, there is so much beauty and wisdom in your experiences.  i can’t describe what a rich adventure it’s been, diving into the world you share with your readers, learning about you and myself and the universe.

Many of you are my circle of women, my sisters who help me get through the hard times, and celebrate the good times.

i am so grateful for all of you.

When i was young, i thought that by the time i was this old, that my life would pretty much be over.  That it would be boring and bland.  Instead ~~

my life is filled with joy and i am more alive and connected to myself and the universe than i ever thought possible.  It is more like this:

i am so thankful.

Between the Dashes ~ SIG

21 Nov

SIG stands for Special Interest Group, and it’s a discussion group that meets every month here in Where-i-Live.   We break into groups ~ submissives, switches and Dominants, and discuss the same set of questions.  Then we come back together and share our answers.

The discussion questions this time were:

How do you maintain the dynamics of power exchange on a day-to-day basis?
• What changes when company comes over or you’re in a vanilla setting?
• Do you schedule down time from the power dynamic?
• What about when you’re apart during the day, are there rituals or protocols that you can implement?
• Does 24/7 work for you or do you have to have time apart due to life situations?
• What about children? Or pregnancy? Marriage? Financial? Household? Outside family? Religion? Where do these fall in your dynamic?
• How do you handle this if you’re poly? Open? Bisexual?
• How do you impose a power exchange on a long term existing relationship?
• How important is play in maintaining the dynamic? Is it required?

It was a lovely discussion, relaxed, and most people talked, and i really enjoyed it.

We played with the idea of openness.  We ranged across the board in how “out” we are.  J and another woman {actually, another J} are pretty completely out.  Even J1’s boss knows.  And J2’s grown children know.  They’re both comfortable with that.

But one of us had lost a job for “immoral behavior.”  Not kinky stuff, actually, but still.  That would argue against openness.

Most of us are some mix of open and private.  Some members of the group expressed frustration with that, wanting to be more open with family or vanilla friends.

CS had been open with her parents, and discovered they were more accepting than she might have anticipated.  D’s dominant had been open with his father, and it had not been well accepted.  It’s a risk.

Lots of us are not out to family and vanilla friends.  Several people expressed  frustration with not feeling authentic because their family and friends don’t know they’re in a power exchange relationship and would be adamantly opposed to the lifestyle.  

Feeling like you can’t be yourself, that you’re living a lie, is a miserable feeling.  i think we all have a desire to be who we truly are, in the most open and genuine way possible.

So as we talk, i’m pondering this.   You know, i’m not open about my lifestyle to the vanilla world, and probably never will be.  If i were, i’d have a whole ton of damage control to do and it could, potentially,  have a significant impact on my career.  

My daughter doesn’t know {i don’t think} and my sister doesn’t.  i’m quite sure that neither of them want to know.

So does that mean i’m not being authentic?  Would there be some benefit for me in being more open?  i was just holding those questions in  my mind as we talked, and we talked about a bunch of the other questions.  

But finally i found my way through that maze of uncertainty.  You know, for me, not being open about my lifestyle is more a matter of privacy than lack of authenticity.  i’m the same person whether i’m kneeling at my Sir’s feet or arguing feminist principles.

For me ~ and i’m just speaking for myself ~ it’s not necessary for the vanilla world to know about the submissive or kinky aspect of my relationship with Sir.  i don’t feel that sense of being split, of being someone i’m not.

i am an old hippie, feminist, intellectual, submissive woman with a lot of personal power.  That’s who i am.  All the time.

But it’s fun working through all that and talking with other people and hearing their perspective.  i will not tell you the story of my {possibly inappropriate} snort, or the  table moving dilemma, since Ms Constance does both so well here.  i’ll just say it was a lot of fun.  

If you have thoughts you want to share about the questions from the discussion group, feel free to do it in the comments, or take them back to your blog and link here if you want to, or don’t link back, either way is fine.

i have lots of things to write about these days ~ and lots of questions to answer from other bloggers, which is pretty cool.  Thanks to ancilla for putting me on her list of favorites and coming up with more great questions to be answered.

Of course, Naomi is still on my mind, so she’s not going anywhere.   She’ll be back tomorrow…

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Top 100 Sex Bloggers 2012

20 Nov

The list is out.

Here it is:

1. Molly from Molly’s Daily Kiss @mollysdailykiss
2. EA from Easily Aroused @EasilyAroused
3. Hyacinth Jones from A Dissolute Life Means…
4. Cheeky Minx from Love Hate Sex Cake @LoveHateSexCake
5. Amy from Anal Amy @AnalAmy
6. My Trousers Rolled from My Trousers Rolled @rolledtrousers
7. Sexual Life of a Wife from Sexual Life of a Wife
8. Dark Gracie from Gracie’s Playground @darkgracie
9. diirrty from d i i r r t y
10. nilla from Vanillamom’s Blog @swirlednilla
11. Suggestive Tongue from Suggestive Tongue @Suggestive
12. Sunny Megatron from Sunny Megatron @SunnyMegatron
13. Aisha from Being Aisha
14. Dev from Delving to Deviance
15. Amie Wee from Crevice Canyon @crevicecanyon
16. Remittance Girl from Remittance Girl @remittancegirl
17. Lady Dragonfly from Lady Dragonfly @miladydragonfly
18. paltego from Femdom Resource
19. Bella Blush from Clean, Moral, Polite
20. Girl on the Net from Girl on the Net @girlonthenet
21. Clarisse Thorn from Clarisse Thorn @clarissethorn
22. Kyle Mew from Kyle Mew @kylemmew
23. Violet+Rye from Uncommon Appetites @UCAppetites
24. Mina and Sylvanus from At Longing’s End @mydesire and @sylvanus
25. Athol Kay from Married Man Sex Life
26. Heather and Nikki from Vagina Antics @Heather_Cole1 and@Nikki_Blue1
27. Ferns from Domme Chronicles @Ferns__
28. Conina from Exploring Surrender
29. Kaya from Under His Hand
30. Joan Price from Better Than I Ever Expected @joanprice
31. Dumb Domme from Dumb Domme @DumbDomme
32. Sadie from That’s What Sadie Said
33. Nikki from Nikki True @Thenikkitrue
34. Lucas Brooks from Top To Bottom @Top2Bottom
35. HH and Lo from My Sex Life with Lola
36. Harper Elliot from (It Girl. Rag Doll) @HarperEliot
37. Charlie Glickman from Charlie Glickman @charlieglickman
38. Lady Cheeky from Smut for Smarties
39. TemptingSweets999 from Tempting Sweets: Story Heat
40. Monocle, Redbud, and Ximena from The Erotic Writer @_Monocle_ and@_Ximena_Writes_
41. Happy BDSM from Happy BDSM
42. Charlie Nox from Charlie Nox @charlienox
43. Theo Black from Theo Black
44. Chrystal Bougon from Bliss Radio
45. Rockin from Light Switch @RockinwithaCock
46. Dr. Marty Klein from Sexual Intelligence @drmartyklein
47. Miranda an Aaron from The Swinger’s Attic
48. Karen from Kissing Blue Karen @kissinbluekaren
49. Axe from Unspeakable Axe @unspeakableaxe
50. Peroxide from Submissive in Seattle @Peroxide__
51. Rachel Rabbit White from Rachel Rabbit White @rabbitwhite
52. Jill McDevitt from A Day in the Life of a Sexologist
53. LS&M from Love, Sex & Marriage
54. Hubman from Hubman’s Hangout @hubman38
55. Coyote’s Kitten from Kitten’s Paw Prints in Slavery @coyoteskitten
56. Betty Dodson and Carlin Ross from Dodson and Ross @dodsonandross
57. Daisy Danger from The True Life Sex Adventures of Daisy Danger @daisydanger
58. Oatmeal Girl from Submission & Metaphor @oatmeal_girl
59. Fatal from You Linger Like a Haunting Refrain
60. Ruby Ryer from Pegging Paradise @Ruby_Ryder
61. Kyle Jones from Butchtastic
62. Anakin and padme from Journey to the Darkside @AnakinDarth and@padmeamidala
63. Lady Pandorah from Lady Panorah’s Sanctuary @ladypandorah
64. Marie Rebelle from Rebel’s Notes @rebelsnotes
65 Thumper from Denying Thumber @thumperMN
66. Jade from Pieces of Jade @piecesofjade
67. Jason Stotts from Erosophia @jstotts
68. BD Swain from Leaning How To Tell You @redswain
69. Bre from Owned, Collared, Loved
70. Dangerous Lilly from This Could Be Dangerous @dangerouslilly
71. Modesty Ablaze from Modesty Ablaze @ablazingmodesty
72. Suzanne from All Mine
73. Kitty from My Secret Life
74. Domina Victoria Rage from Domina Victoria Rage @VictoriaRage
75. Sin from Finding My Submission
76. Maggie Mayhem from Miss Maggie Mahem @msmaggiemayhem
77. Artemisia Absinthium from Absinth Cocktail @ArtiAbsinthium
78. N. Likes from My Dissolute Life @nlikes
79. TheOthers1 from Undue Creativity
80. Roxy from Uncommon Curiosity @sroxy
81. Mollena from The Perverted Negress @Mollena
82. Jerome from Let’s Talk About Sex
83. Liza from Always Each Other @lizawrites
84. Figleaf from Real Adult Sex @talkingfigleaf
85. Red Vinyl Kitty from The Sub Mission @The_Sub_Mission
86. Omega and Mouse from The Power Exchange @talesofmouse
87. Innocent Loverboy from Innocent Loverboy @innocentlb
88. Shelby Cross from Shelby Cross, Writer
89. Blacksilk from Being Blacksilk @BlacksilkBlog
90. Kaleigh Trace from Fucking Facts @TheFuckingFacts
91. Romantic Dominant from A Faded Romantic’s Notebook
92. BiLikesSciFi from A Tale of Bi and Bi
93. Curvaceous Dee from Curvaceous Dee @curvaceousdee
94. Evoe Thorne from My Whole Sex Life @WholeSexLife
95. Ponyboy from Marriage in the Bedroom @Ponyboy0000
96. Jack and Jill from Frisky in the 916 @jackandjillcpl and@jillandjackcpl
97. The Gentle Nibbles Writing Team from Gentle Nibbles @gentlenibbles
98. Kitty from The Submissive Wife
99. Kat from She Makes the Rules

100. YOU! As always, I want to leave a place on this list for ALL the awesome sex bloggers out there! So please leave a comment on Between My Sheets with your name/URL to tell us about your sexy blog!

Visit Rori here to see this whole post, or check out her other wonderful posts.  Thank you, Rori, for all the time and energy you put into doing this!!  

i am really, really thrilled to be on the list.  And to be Number 13 is just ~ amazingly wonderful.  i’m just thrilled.  {O, oops, i already said that.  But i am, you know?}

And congratulations to everyone!   Ok, especially the folks i know and love because they comment here ~ ‘nilla, Sin, Conina, Kitty, the submissive wife, Dumb Domme (ok, just once but that counts), mouse and Omega, and i don’t even know who else ~ i know i’ve left out someone important {tell me if it’s you, please?}  

i can’t believe how many blogs on the list i haven’t read, so i guess it will keep me busy running around reading everyone else.  That’ll be fun!

Ok, better get back to work.  Just had to share my excitement!!

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Between the Dashes ~ Sir Goes Shopping {O, My!}

19 Nov

Saturday afternoon, Sir and i went our separate ways.  He headed out to do errands.  i napped, and read some blogs, and exercised, and wrote a blog post, and was cleaning up the kitchen when He came home.

i notice that He has a bunch of “stuff” in His hands.  Something long ~ several long things ~ maybe four feet long.

“Here,” He says, “Let me set this stuff down,” and He disappears into the study.  Moments later, He’s back, and wraps His arms around me.

After a long hug, and an “mmmmm,” or two from me, i say, “How was your day?”

“GREAT!” He says, letting go of me.  “Wait til you see what I got!  Did you know they sell bamboo at Lowe’s?”

i’m laughing, “No, Sir, actually, no, i didn’t.”

“Well, they do, look at this!”  And He leads me into the study.

There they are.  Pieces of bamboo.  Um, poles.  Bamboo poles.  One really thick one and three skinny ones.  Trying to be coy, i say, “Um, what’s that for?”

He says, “What’s that for?!  For you, of course.  You know, leaving welts, it’s not about how hard you hit, it’s how fast the implement’s moving, and these can move really fast.”  He shakes His head, “What’s it for?  It’s for you!  i got it for you.”

What can a girl say but, “Thank you, Sir”?  So i say it, nicely, i hope.  And He laughs.

Then He says, “And ~ wait til you see this!  Remember that paddle I used up at COPE?”  i nod, o, yes, i remember that paddle.  “Well look at this,” He says.

i put the piece of wood on the arms of Sir’s chair, and that’s a ruler – the orange thing, so you can tell just how big it is! That’s the smooth side, btw.

Yes, it’s a piece of wood.  NOT just any piece of wood.  It’s red oak.  One of the hardest types of wood you can buy that’s native to the Unites States, He says.  {Don’t ask me how He knows this stuff.}

He explains that it’s going to make a WONDERFUL paddle.  All He’s got to do is cut it down here {and He demonstrates} so He can grip it easily.  And put a hole in it so He can put a piece of braided rope or something through the hole so He can put that over His wrist and make sure He has a firm grip on it.  While He paddles me. 

It just needs to be sanded real good, so it’s smooth.  “Here,” He says, handing it to me.  “Feel it.  Which side do you want used on you?  Which side do you think is the business end?”

Cautiously, because i generally anticipate walking into some kind of trap here, i feel both sides with my fingertips.  One side seems rougher, grainier than the other.  So not that one.  Hesitantly, i flip it over and say, “This side?”

He says, “That side?  That’s the side you want against your skin?”

“Um, yes, i think so…” i say.  “It feels smoother than the other one. Isn’t it?

“Well, yes, it is!” He says approvingly.  Then, “Too bad, the other side is the business side.  The smooth side is where you put any fancy decorations you might want.”

“O,” i say.  “i see.”  i knew there was not really a choice here.

“Have you ever sanded anything?” He asks.

“No, no, Sir, i haven’t,” i say, totally prepared to admire His sanding expertise.

“O, good,” He says, “This will be a good learning experience for you.”  i guess my face shows my disbelief ~ i’m thinking WHAT?  You want ME to sand it?  But i bet my face just said, “Um, excuse me?”

Anyhow, He says, “Yes, you, it’ll be great.  Really make the whole experience more personal, more enjoyable.  You have to do it slowly, rubbing the sanding paper over it like this,” and He demonstrates.  “Don’t worry, I’ll show you how to do it.”

And what’s a girl to say but, “Yes, Sir, thank you, Sir.”  So i say it, and i’m laughing.

Later, i massage Sir’s shoulder for a while, He’s having some pain.  The massage helps, and then He says, “But i think i need to work some of the stiffness out. Swing that arm a little bit.”

It takes me a minute to get it.  In fact, it’s not til He turns me over His knee that i realize what kind of arm swinging He has in mind.  i suggest that this might actually make his shoulder worse, but He assures me, No, this will be just what He needs.

After a little hand spanking, we adjourn to the bedroom, where He continues to work out the kinks {giggle} by beating my poor ass with the bamboo poles and the paddle.  

The paddle felt just as you might imagine, like a big ole piece of wood thudding on my ass.  He complained mildly about the grip, noting it would be easier to use once He carved the end of it down, but it didn’t seem to bother Him any from my perspective.

The canes were ~ well, they were interesting.  Here’s a picture of one of them:

It didn’t seem like they hurt too much at first, and then they got a bit stingier, and then a bit more stingier, and then they hurt like a ~ well, you know, like a mother~.  They left some nice welts, which i felt like i’d earned, but when i got up this morning, they were already gone.   

Sir’s shoulder was fine this morning too, so i guess He did know what He needed all along.  

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i went to SIG yesterday too ~ the Special Interest Group discussion ~ and had a lovely time, but that will have to wait for another day  {Waves to Ms. Constance, and CS, and C, and anyone else who was there…}

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Quickie

17 Nov

No, not that kind of quickie, get your mind out of the gutter, please!

{giggling…}

No, a couple of things i need to say:

1.  i can’t figure out how to put my Liebster award on my blog sidebar.  That’s why i don’t have my one-lovely-blog award, or the one that was going around the year before that i got, or the “BloggersUnited” one ~ cause i don’t know how to put ’em on there.  i use wordpress.  Can anyone help?

2.  i read Jz’s post where she answered the questions, and put some questions of her own out there {YAY!!}  But she was saying she wouldn’t do the “nominate other bloggers” part, because “It feels like publicly ranking your friends.”

And that kind of worried me, because yes, i guess it can be like that… and of course there are lots of people i could have nominated, but it doesn’t mean i like them any less.   Ancilla is one, i subscribe to her blog so i read it every time she posts, but i didn’t nominate her, but i nominated other people who know her and read her so the ball’s in their court.  {Not trying to call you out, ancilla, but you’re a good example because i read you all the time and love your blog and everyone should go read you now!!}

So maybe i won’t do that part of awards anymore either?  But it’s one of the ways new bloggers get known…  sigh.  But mostly i’m saying this because i want you to know that i didn’t ~ i don’t know.  It’s silly to say i didn’t want to hurt anyone, because of course i didn’t, but if i did, it doesn’t really matter what i intended.

AND i know Jz wasn’t trying to make me feel bad!  i’m glad she brought it up, because it does make me think.

Do youall think it’s more hurtful than fun????

3.  Faithful ~ youall know faithful, right, who comments on blogs often ~ she has her own blog!!  YES!!  i’m delighted, partly because she said a long time ago that she was going to but i thought she’d forgotten or changed her mind and now she does!!  So, go visit her here and leave lots of comments because she’s wonderful about commenting.

As i write this, our girl Naomi is enjoying a light breakfast ~ coffee, one piece of multi-grain toast, and half of an orange.  She’s ready for more adventures...

On the Run AGAIN

17 Nov

i need to move fast this morning ~ volunteer gig, of course, and i’ve been working on a work project that sucked in a big part of my day yesterday so i’m behind on answering email and a bunch of other stuff….

i realized yesterday that Wordwytch does not have 200 followers ~ i just assumed she did ~ why do i think of you as big-league, Wordwytch??  

She is totally on my award list, because she does these wonderful responses to writing challenges ~ like this one.  And she writes stories that remind me a little bit of Jane Austen.  So everyone should go read her now.  

And there’s no telling who else  i left off…. 

Some asshole on fetlife just messaged me:

“Hey.  Let’s fuck.”  

Really???  Omigod.  Being the good teacher i am, i message him back:

I take it you are new to the community. This isn’t the way people approach each other here, that’s very disrespectful. You might want to read some information for new people before you approach anyone else so you can become part of the community if you’re interested in doing that. Otherwise, no one will play with you.

Sigh.  Darn newbies.  And of course his picture is his cock.  Or a cock.  Who knows if it’s his or if there’s a gallery of cock pictures guy can choose from?

Not a good idea, in my opinion.  Not that i don’t like a nice cock, but not as an intro, thank you very much.

And Sir is up now!  He usually sleeps in on Saturday morning, so this is a treat.  He’s helping me with my work project, so i better go pay attention to what He’s doing.

Sorry.  i’ll be back.  Maybe later this afternoon…  Naomi has much to learn today.

OH! i almost forgot!

Jz and the Great Cookie Exchange.  Here’s the deal:

YOU’RE INVITED!

Third Annual Great Online Cookie Exchange Extravaganza! 

The rules are simple. Just post a recipe for a holiday goodie

on Thursday, December 6, 2012.

(We don’t limit our holiday eating to just cookies…)

Anyone is welcome to join in. 

The Only Condition:
If you want your blog to show up in the official list of participant links, you MUST contact me (Jz) by Tuesday, Dec. 4th, with both your name and the URL of your blog. 

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This is the first year i have a plan ahead of time, so i’m VERY excited!  Can’t wait to see your cookies and cake and candy recipes too!

And Jz, i see that you actually did the award thing!!  Well, in your own Jz way, that is.  🙂  Awesome.  i want to answer your questions too!

Ok, Sir is asking me questions… gotta go…  

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