Saturday, He has a plan.
i don’t know what it is. Yet.
He says it is more than dinner.
More than touching and stroking and caressing.
More than fucking.
i had a miserable day at work on Tuesday.
It looked like some good things that we expected to happen, weren’t going to. i could have been ok with that. Then it looked like some really bad things were going to happen, and lots of people – clients and staff – were going to suffer because of it. It looked like the good things were lost through corporate negligence, and the bad things coming through another organization’s bureaucratic rigidity and my organization’s mindless indifference and acceptance.
I was distraught.
This was on top of the usual issues and problems, catastrophes and misery.
i was overwhelmed.
So on Tuesday, we were supposed to have gone out for dinner, and He thought we needed some down time instead. So we ate in, and He calmed and soothed me. He took care of me.
i felt better, and appreciated it.
Then He warned me. About Saturday.
He says it will be structured.
He says, “you can relax and submit and I will do the rest, or rather, you will do the rest, as I dictate. No decisions, no worries, just submit.”
i know ~ He tells me ~ there will be a red ass involved (mine.)
Then, late yesterday afternoon, the new, overwhelming issues at work got resolved. Yep.
The good things are happening. The bad things are not.
That’s partly cause i put a bunch of energy into arguing and persuading and playing with numbers and making phone calls, and so did some other people, and then some people had to listen and act on what we were saying, and now?
It’s all good.
So i was doing happy dances all over the place. Then ~ i had this horrible thought ~
what if Sir was just doing whatever He was going to do on Saturday because i had been so upset? What if He changed His plans now that i was ok?
Yes, i know that was goofy, goofy, goofy. But at the moment, it made perfect sense.
And really ~ my 2nd husband? That’s how he was. He was at his best when i was at my worst. If i could have just stayed messed up, or sick, or pathetic in some way, we might still be married.
Giggling.. really, that’s the truth.
But i had this scary moment of “what if?”
So ~ i asked Him. i was kinda proud of myself for asking. And at first He didn’t even understand what i was talking about, so i explained my worry, and admitted it was goofy, and He said:
“No my Saturday plans were not just to appease your upset little self, The Dom in me reminds you that it would not be that way… No it’s much deeper than that.”
And my heart thrilled. i can’t wait.