So i’m settling back into being at home, beginning to feel like i might possibly get caught up on the things i’ve neglected. Sfp will be here before i know it. i keep having conversations in my head with her – “We could do this… or this…” only ~ since the conversation is only in my head, it just goes in circles.
And really, we probably need to wait til she gets here before we make a bunch of plans.
i’m getting some new furniture for my living room, and i’m a little worried. Well, i’m excited about the furniture, but the chair and couch i have now, which are so well-suited for cock worship and spankings, are going to the basement. i don’t think the furniture i have in mind will serve that purpose quite as well.
i used to have fantasies about being spanked bent over the arm of my chair, or the couch, long before i was actively involved in kink. i knew they would be ideal for that.
i remember getting up the nerve to tell my husband that i would like him to spank me there, that way. The memory makes me smile, and makes me sad.
He had his own chair, where i used to sit in his lap, but he took it with him of course when we split up.
My chair has lots of memories for me. i’ve knelt in front of it so many times. Been bent over the arm, just like in my fantasies. And now it’s in the “family room” in the basement.
Sigh.
Of course, lots of people have dungeons or play equipment in the basement, so maybe we’ll just shift the venue – well, if i ever play with anyone again.
Bob sent me an offer that’s hard to refuse. You know, Bob is my friend who’s a Dom, who i went to the swingers party with.
He sent me a message on fetlife, offering to relieve me of my state of “only getting orgasms solo,” which is certainly considerate of him. But he also showed me a picture that was pretty enticing. i wanted to copy and post it here, but couldn’t figure out how to do it, so i’ll have to describe it.
Laid out in a visually appealing spread, i first notice the fucksall, with the lovely blue dildo. Then the flogger, and the riding crop catch my eye. Hmmmm.
Rope – 4 pieces of silky looking rope, another – is that another dildo? O, my, yes, i think it is, and um, a row of clothespins. More clothespins than any sub could need, ten of them, while i only have 2 nipples. But it’s an eye-catching arrangement. Hard to resist.
{Swallows hard}
And maybe i won’t. Resist, that is. Maybe i need a play partner for a while.
Thinking about it, i try to shift my image from dedicated sub to playmate. i don’t know. i do need to be touched.
i was IM’ing with someone last night who’s also local, who’s also looking for a play partner. We agreed to meet at some point soon, although the exact date and time hasn’t been determined. But i think he mainly wants a third for him and his slave, who he sees monthly.
i don’t know.
i talked to someone else local through collarme who, as it turns out, was someone i went out with back before my second marriage. He was very into kink then, and i was at least on the fringes. Neither of us had any idea about the other.
Where-i-Live is really very small sometimes.
But i’m trying to take the sagest advice of all of you – to take my time, process things slowly, be kind to myself…
…and maybe let Bob test his new toy on me…