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i Needed That…

26 Feb

My Sir has been working every day for three weeks.   Not just a little bit, but long hours every day.  Yesterday was not an exception.

So it was after 7:00 when He got to my house.  i had cooked ~ pasta, which is what He’d asked for, even though it’s not on my diet.  But i made eggplant parmesan, following the recipe that is on my diet, for me.  

i used the same sauce for both, starting with a tomato-basil-garlic jar of sauce, and adding sautéed mushroom, onion, and meatless meat.   The eggplant was done, and i let the sauce for His pasta simmer while i waited for HIm.  Then it took just a few minutes to cook the pasta ~ angel hair.

We had a small side salad.  i had gotten some fancy, organic thousand island dressing, which is what He likes, but forgot to ask Him if it tasted any better than regular.

i made some chocolate covered strawberries, which He likes a lot,  for dessert.

i burnt the first piece of garlic bread i put in the oven ~ just got sidetracked and forgot about it ~ but threw in another piece and managed not to burn it.

When cooking is part of my service to Sir, i’m a little awkward with it.  Christmas dinner for 15 takes about the same amount of fussing, in my mind anyhow.  Fretting about whether or not He’ll mind fake meat, whether or not i should get whole wheat pasta, forgetting to put the wax paper on the plate before i do the  strawberries, and feeling upset because they’re going to stick to the plate….

… most of which are things that He’s not going to notice or care much about.

Sheesh.  

But there is pleasure in it too, even in the fussing over it.  Not as much pleasure as there is in, um, cock worship,  for example, right?  Probably not as much pleasure for either of us.  But still.

He is tired, and is not eating well, and wanted pasta, and it is my pleasure to provide what He wants and needs in a way that pleases.

After dinner. after dessert, we sit in the living room.  i start a fire in the fireplace, and sit at His feet.  

He puts a collar on me, the one with the padlock.  i love the sound of the lock clicking closed.  

He removes my shirt.

He plays with my nipples, teasing and tweaking til they are tender, a little sore.  

He shows me a new knot He’s learned ~  tying my wrists, the rope encircles my wrist, and wraps around my hand.  He ties it so there’s a knot in the palm of my hand so that ~

~ when He has led me to the door, and my arms are pulled high, suspended over my head, there is a knot for me to hold on to.  It is comforting as He exposes my ass,

and begins to spank, quickly turning it pink with His hand.  

Then the flogger…

And then the spoon.  The heavy wooden spoon that lands with a THWACK, leaves a stinging tingle and a red circle…

followed by the rope ~ ah!  O, it stings and burns… and while He’s doing it, He’s pinching a nipple ~ well, and doing that when He was using the spoon too,

so i am turned on and gasping from pleasure and pain.  Whimpering.  When His hand probes between my legs, i am so wet, it makes Him smile.

“Yes,” He says, “Good.  Good girl.”

And when He unties me, leads me to His workbench, bends me over it, fastening my hands so i am draped, head down, almost on my toes…

and His hands probe and rub, caress until i’m cumming, cumming so hard i ~

am embarrassed to tell you about the puddle i leave on the floor under me.  Yikes.

And then He unties me and takes me to bed.

He spends the night, next to me, i can feel Him behind me, and around me.

i sleep with my collar, and when i half-wake in the night, i feel the padlock, resting heavy in the hollow just under my throat.

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Valentine’s Day

13 Feb

Valentine’s Day is tomorrow.

i am not a big fan of Valentine’s Day.  It’s a frigging Hallmark holiday, created {IMO} to sell cards and candy and flowers, with jacked up prices on flowers that are ridiculous.

And yet, it’s one of those holidays {like Mother’s Day} that if you ignore it, you feel bad.

When i was married we had little traditions we developed quickly so  we didn’t have to get too creative.   My first husband did flowers, which i do like a lot.  i did candy, which He loved, and we went out to dinner.  

My second husband always gave me some piece of jewelry with a heart in the design.  i’d give him a little series of small gifts of things he liked ~ candy, a book, tickets to a show, whatever.  

When i’m not in a relationship, i give my friends and family little candies or cards and try to content myself with that.  {Well, i do that some when i’m a relationship too, but it’s not the whole focus, right?}

If i’m in a new relationship, that’s the trickiest.  You don’t know what to expect, or what to give, or anything.  i kind of hate it.

Sheesh.

So i got Sir a book ~ don’t tell HIm ~ it’s some previously unpublished stories by His favorite author, and i’m hoping He hasn’t already read it.  i’m hoping to come up with something else creative before tomorrow, but am not sure that’s going to happen.  i couldn’t find a card i liked so i’ll have to make one.  

My Sir is a Master of different and unique gifts.  They are often symbolic gifts rather than hands on material things, which i think will make life more interesting.

So for Valentine’s Day, He’s created a myth for me.  A legend.  And written a story about it.

The myth involves a karada, the japanese rope dress,

and a Dom on a quest ~ a little bit like Cinderella ~ but He seeks the one who fits the karada.  So He sends His man out to all the villages, looking for the submissive woman it fits… and all the women line up to try it on…

Sir’s giving me the story, which He’s already written, but the story is not the gift.  The legend that the story’s based on, the legend He created for me, is the gift.

How could i not love this man?

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Yes…

4 Feb

Yes, we made it safely to Where-the Event-Is.  And Sir said i was a good driver, and not particularly like a pace car driver.  {So there, ‘Nilla.}

Yes, we’re having fun.

It is trickier using a computer with leather, fur-lined cuffs on than you might think.  The thickness is disconcerting, and the loose end of the strap gets in the way.  But having been required to sleep in them, i’m pretty sure i’m not supposed to jump out of bed and take them off.

i’m writing this from the social area, along with a few other early risers ~ although much later than my usual blogging time.

Last night is a blur of images and sensations…

Rope. 

Wrapped around my chest, between my legs, raising my breasts, pressing against me, making me wet….

Arms suspended above me, attached to a wooden frame.

Legs spread wide.

And canes.  My ass burning as the canes land, flesh already warm and pink from His hand.

Then the nipple clamps, pinching ~ mmmm ~  ahhhh!  The pain ebbs and flows, distracted by my stinging ass, His hand in my hair, His mouth…

Sensations.

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Lots of Rope

22 Jan

Lots of rope in my life these days ~ particularly last night.  

Sir had been working all day, so i went to his house.  i knew He was tired, so i was delighted when he said we were going out to eat.  That was lovely, and when we got back to His house ~

 He whisks my coat away and sits me down in his old office chair.  It has arms and wheels.  {I was going to post a picture of what it was like, but apparently they don’t make them anymore.  And anyhow, it doesn’t matter.}  Suffice to say, i am quickly tied to it.

A rope around my chest holds me securely, wrists fastened to the arms leave no room for escape.  “Playing cowboys and Indians?” i comment and He just laughs.

After i’m tied, He unbuttons my shirt, pulls my breasts out so the nipples are exposed.  Attaches the nipple clamps, tightens them.   Asks if they’re even.  

“Yes, Sir!!” is my hearty response.  “Perfectly even, thank you for checking!!”

“Comfortable?” He asks.

“Mmmmhmmm.  Yes, Sir.”  While He wrapped me, i had been thinking about a blog post someone wrote ~ i can’t remember who now ~ about whether or not being tied up is like being hugged.  i smile, yes, it is like being hugged, a long caressing hug.

“Good,” He says, “Don’t go anywhere.  I’m gonna take a shower.”

And i laugh, cause i should have known that was coming.  

For a moment i think, “What if there’s a fire?” and then i laugh at myself, cause i’m on wheels, i could scoot straight down the hall to the open bathroom door ~ an open door through which clothes are flying at the moment, landing in a heap at the end of the hall.  

A shoe.  Another shoe.  Socks.  i’m giggling, watching this invisible strip tease.

And then i have time.  Time to savor the feeling of rope around me.  Time to wonder why He’s left me clothed, except for my breasts with the clamps attached, which are not too painful, but not quite forgettable either.

My quote i chose for the day yesterday was:

“Now, here, you see, it takes all the running you can do, to keep in the same place. If you want to get somewhere else, you must run at least twice as fast as that!” 
~~ Lewis Carroll, Through the Looking Glass

Tied to the chair, unable to do anything, i have time to slide into that timeless space, the magical space betwixt and between parts of my life.  Carving out room to just be, and, even better, to just be His.

i wonder for a moment if He’s going to untie me to get my clothes off, but i let the thought flit through my mind.  No need for me to be concerned with that.  

i watch my nipples, the chain between the clamps hanging down.  i listen to the water from the shower.  i feel myself growing wet, moist and fully compliant.

i wait…

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Doing the Happy Dance…

18 Jan

Last night i felt His dominance in all its lovely power.

From the collar and cuffs ~ o, such a wonderful feeling, as He buckles them ~ to the rope, pulled tightly around me…  from my flogger, which really caresses, to the full slap and sting of His belt… it was all lovely. 

He makes me lie down on my back, with my knees bent, legs open, arms at my side.  Then He ties my wrist cuffs to my ankle cuffs.

Yeah.

Splayed out, unable to move.  No doubt about who’s in control here.

The wooden spoon ~ o, yikes ~ tapping between my legs ~ O ~ O ~ and then my body suddenly relaxes.  All tied up, i had been a little tense, now, my body settles comfortably, opens to Him.

There is more, so much more… a feast of kinky delight.

Nipple clamps ~ did i want the right one tighter, looser, or the same? 

“The same, Sir, please,” i say.

“Like this?” as He puts the right one on.

Me, gasping ~ “O, i think that’s tighter.”

Sir ~ “But you wanted them the same, right?”

“Yes, Sir,”

“Then i guess I’d better tighten up this other one.”

O, yikes!!

Laughing…  after that, when He asks if one clamp is tighter than the other, i say, “Yes, Sir!  They’re the same!  Exactly the same, Sir.”

His hand in my hair… ahhhhh.  i love, love, love that.  Right at the nape of my neck.  The slightest tug sends waves of  pleasure through me.

And kneeling, tucked between His legs, caressing, licking …. feels like coming home.

This morning, aching nipples, rope marks on my torso, my heart is dancing with joy.

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Tied

2 Dec

“Come here,” He says.  “Go ahead.  Sit down right there.”

He gestures to the floor.  He’s spread a towel on the floor, right next to the base of the table.  It’s just a base, huge, heavy wood, with claw feet.  

The slab of wood that would be the “table” isn’t there.  There’s a wooden platform on top of the base, where the table would go, but that’s all.  

My hands are tied already.  It is a routine i know now.  

“Hold your hands out,” He says.  And He means both of them, palms facing each other, about 5 or 6 inches apart.

He used to use leather cuffs, but not anymore.  It is rope now, each wrist wrapped in rope, connected with rope.  He works a metal ring into the rope running between my hands that He uses to attach me.  

My hands are already tied when He gestures to the floor.  My hands are tied and of course i’m naked.  

Looking down, i can see rope wrapped around the base of the table, thick rope ~ like for a ship or something.  

“Go ahead,” He says again.  “Sit.  Get comfortable.”

 It’s not so easy, getting settled on the floor with my hands tied together, but  i do,  a little hesitant, not sure what’s coming next.

He has already put the collar on me.  The one with the rings in the ends that He fastens together with a padlock.  i can feel the padlock heavy on my skin.  Cool at first, then warming with the heat of my body.

He squats beside me.  Begins to tie me, fastening the ring between my hands to the rope around the table.

Pulling the rope close, so my hands are flush against the claw foot at the base.

i shift my body ~ i had been kneeling, but i sit, and He looks surprised.  “I told you to get comfortable,” He says.

“Yes, Sir,” i say.  “i was ~ i am ~ i just…” and it trails off, ’cause it doesn’t really matter.  And He’s not listening, He’s making sure i’m tied securely.

Satisfied at last, He stands.  “There,” He says.  “You could probably get loose if you really wanted to.  Or even move the table.  But i don’t think you’re going anywhere.”

“No, Sir,” i say.  “i don’t think i am either.”

“Good,” He says, smiling.  “I’m going to take a shower.  I’ll be back.”

Alone, naked, collared, tied to the table leg.  

i can hear the water running.  Hear Him moving around.

i feel my spirit settle.   i am comfortable.  i’m not going anywhere.  

i am content.

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In Need of Correction…

24 Oct

No, not me, in need of correction, well not exactly… but my post about Jay Wiseman and rope is in need of correction.  Next time i decide to quote technical stuff, i’ll consult the expert before i hit “publish.”

So, along with a Friend Request on fet, i sent Jay {i think it’s ostentatious to call him “Jay Wiseman” all the time, don’t you?  Like i want to make sure you know it’s not just ANY Jay…}  Anyhow, i sent Jay a link to the post today about his class.

He sent me a message back.  It said:   

Hi (again) aisha,

Thanks for this. It’s very well written and I appreciate your comments.

Oh, two clarifying comments:

1. The actual quote is..
the scrotum
is not
a load-bearing
hardpoint. 😉

2. Numb limbs in bondage make me a bit nervous. True, numbness per se (absent “bad pain”) does not seem to correlate with an increase in post-bondage problems, but I’m not entirely comfortable telling people to ignore numbness — even if, perhaps, it would be fine to do so. Under the “less than 120 minutes” parameter, I don’t really care about changes in color or temperature, or whether or not one can slip X number of fingers under the ropes, but numbness does make me a bit nervous.

(If you’d like to do a copy-and-paste of the above to your blog, and this comment, I’d be fine with that.)

Your blog is very interesting and thoughtful. I just may come back to it from time to time.

Best regards,

Jay

i thought that was a lovely correction, and appreciated it and the kind words about my blog too, of course.  And now you know…

…the rest of the story.

🙂

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The First Class

24 Oct

The first class i went to was Jay Wiseman’s and it was terrific.  He’s funny and laid back and the class flowed nicely.

There were safety lessons ~ mostly the ones i’ve mentioned:

“Bad pain” is the best predictor of a problematic outcome with bondage under 120 minutes ~ “Bad pain” = STOP.   Of course, we all knew what he meant by “Bad Pain,” as opposed to good pain.  Numbness is worrisome too.*

ER trips are mostly due to a fall of some sort.

The scrotum is not a load-bearing hardpoint*.

And ~ i don’t think i told you this one, but it’s maybe the most important one.   BDSM fatalities occur primarily when someone is in severely restrictive bondage and they’re left alone.    

So, ‘Nilla, in your recent story about the adventuresome dogs, i’m glad her Master had only pretended to leave her alone.  

Because ~ saying it again ~  tying her up securely and leaving her is the riskiest thing to do in terms of potential fatalities.  He told a couple of stories about events that led to death, which i don’t remember in enough detail to share, but you know, he has his own website and everything here.

His class was not all talk.  Entitled “Rough Rope, Bondage, Erotic Torture, and Predicament, All in One!” he demonstrated bondage with sisal rope on a very willing victim.

Let me say again, he used sisal rope.  It’s that kind of rough rope that looks like it’s fraying already.  Like this:

Just looking at it, you know it’s going to be kind of itchy and uncomfortable.  And apparently, it is uncomfortable as you get wrapped, but once it’s securely tied, it’s ok ~ unless you move.  Then it’s um, uncomfortable, all over again.

Hence the predicament part of the bondage.  You’re fine, unless you move.  

He described it in psychological terms as an approach/avoid conflict ~ so you “approach” moving, only that’s uncomfortable so you want to avoid it.  But you need to move, so you approach again…

Sin, your Master would love it.  Jay mentioned a couple of things that would force a submissive to move.

Laughter.

Or ~ even better ~ an orgasm.

It was fun watching him restrain his volunteer,  a willowy redhead who stripped to her panties happily and clearly enjoyed the experience.

It was interesting watching her face.  Knowing what it feels like to be restrained, to feel the rope going around me, to feel myself being wrapped…  well, watching her face brought those sensations back.

He put her arms in a harness behind her back, brought the rope between her labia, and then ~ i don’t know if i can describe this right ~ he pulled one piece of it taut between her legs.  Then he wrapped and twisted some more so he ended up with the rope divided so he had two pieces.

He brought the two pieces up between her legs too, but on opposite sides of her labia.  So ~ are you picturing this ~ the one rope is right in the center, then the two strands of rope run on the outside of the one rope, pressing firmly against her…. yeah.

She was a happy sub.

He made her sit, and that was fun to watch.  i know what it feels like from the inside, and it’s like a tiny taste of it to watch her experience it.

There was a woman in the audience who’s new to kink ~ i know this because she announced it several times.  About my age, she’s pretty sure she’s a Domme, and is looking for knowledge and experience.

So she pipes up at some point and wants to know, “What’s she getting out of this?  I mean, what’s in it for her?”

And i had to laugh, because it was so obvious to me that our rope model was in seventh heaven at that point, happily flying in her own head.  But Jay asked her to respond ~

~ and of course watching her try to come back and find words for what she was feeling was fun too.  

Jay commented that sometimes it seems like he’s just the ground crew, and of course we know what he means.  He was doing all the work.  

She was flying…

Makes me smile just remembering it.

* These parts were originally wrong, see In Need of Correction for an explanation. 

 

 

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A Few Things I Learned at Kinky Kollege…

23 Oct

This is just a preliminary, right?  But here we go:

i have six new books to read.  Six.  Am i insane?  {Laughing…) 

Just click on the title for a link to more information about the books.  i now have:

Urban Tantra:   sacred sex for the twenty-first century by Barbara Carrellas, because i heard she does a good job with tantra sex.

Living M/s and Sex, Stories and Power Exchange, both by Dan and dawn Williams, because i’m wild about them and their presentation on sensual humiliation was fabulous.

The Ethical Slut and Radical Ecstasy, both by Janet Hardy and Dossie Easton, because my daughter’s been telling me for 10 years that i should read The Ethical Slut, and the other one just looked really good.

Ask the Man who Owns Him by david stein withDavid Schachter, because Raven recommended it when i talked to him at COPE.  They interview 16 gay M/s couples and try to identify the traits of the relationship that make it successful.

That should keep me busy for a while!

i discovered that the sound of someone playing with a whip is hot, and commands immediate attention, even if it’s in the vendor area.

i learned that there’s something called “anal relaxer” which purports to relax the area without numbing it.  Sounds like a good idea.  i always thought numbing it could be kind of risky.

i found out about “cell popping,” which is like a temporary form of branding.  Yeah, a temporary brand.  No, i didn’t get one!  i didn’t even go to that workshop.

Jay Wiseman, author of many books and rope expert, admired my collar (yes, really!)  AND ~ we chatted a little at dinner Saturday night, and discovered some common interests.  He testifies as a BDSM expert sometimes, and was telling me about DSM diagnoses that he’s gotten to know all about.  Then he was telling me about a therapist he knows with interests similar to mine.  i said i’d be interested in sharing information with her.

Anyhow, today, as i was leaving the event area, he stopped me and asked me to friend him on fetlife, so he can connect me with the therapist he knows.  Now, i’m sure he has a zillion and a half friends, but still, he asked me to friend him.  i think that’s pretty cool.

i have a  whole new reading list of books, scattered throughout my notes.   For example, The Alchemy of Love and Lust, by Theresa Crenshaw.  That sounds interesting, doesn’t it?

i learned that an important rule to remember in bondage is that ~ and i quote ~ “the scrotum is not a load bearing hardpoint.”*  Apparently, if you attach one end of a rope to the top of someone’s scrotum, and the other end to something that is not part of that person’s body, really bad things can happen.

Like, just for example, if you’re leading your slave around that way in a BDSM club, and you’re wearing spike heels, and you fall ~ that can quickly lead to a trip to the ER.  And ~ the most likely cause of a trip to the ER is a fall.  Or, um, a trip…

Funny, if it’s not your scrotum attached to the end of the rope, right?

Ok, enough for now.  Almost time to figure out what to do for dinner…

 *Originally misquoted, see “In Need of Correction” for explanation…

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Sir X and The Gift

4 Sep

So just a few minutes into my first meeting with  Sir X Friday night, He said He’d brought me a small gift.

Have i mentioned that He does some rope?  Well, He does, so when He said it was something He’d made, i thought it might be a rope something.  But when He gave it to me, i didn’t know what it was.

{I put it on the green background so it would stand out.}  

It looks like a little person with wheels instead of legs, right?  Well, maybe not, but that’s how my mind works.  Very cute.

So He asks if i know what it’s for, or what you can do with it.  i admit that i don’t have a clue. 

“Well,” He says, “you can open the top part of it a little bit…”

Now it looks like a big-headed person with tiny wheel legs, right?

But now you can put something in the loop at the top 

My little finger, for example.  

But just “for example,” because then it clicks, what you could put in the loop.  And once you put ~whatever ~ in the loop, you pull on the bottom circles, and that tightens the loop around the ~ whatever.  

And as it clicks in my head, i blurt out, “But shouldn’t there be two of them?”

And He laughs, “Well, yes, there usually would be a pair.  But i just made this on a whim before i came over here tonight, so there’s just one.” 

i thank Him. nicely i hope, and tuck it away in a safe pocket in my purse.

Last night, Sir X was really very low key, which was nice.  There were only a few times that i actually  felt that Domly energy i love, just enough times to assure me it was there, lying in wait.

Today, i get an email that suggests i practice using the small gift, noting that using it can be tricky.  He suggests i try it both on the right and the left side.   He notes that he’ll want a critique of it later.

So, being the forethoughtful kind of person i am, i wonder what will be tricky about it.  It occurs to me that once i tighten it up around my nipple, the nipple will get engorged, and swell up around the rope, and it might be tough to get back off.

So i try it on the right nipple first.  i tighten it up really slowly.  It doesn’t really hurt a lot.  The nipple gets a little swollen, but not too much.  i kind of like the sensation.  

And He didn’t say i had to make it hurt.

It’s a little more difficult getting it back off.  I can’t actually loosen the noose, but i’m able to slide it off the nipple.

Then i try it on the left .  

Feeling more confident, more adventurous now, i tighten it til it does hurt, but just a little bit.  The twinges of pain come and go.   i pull my shirt back down over it and keep working on this post.

The shirt rubs against it and i’m aware of the sensation, and yes, i suppose it’s labelled pain, but it’s not bad.

i tighten it a little bit more.  Pull my shirt back down.  i’m not wearing a bra, so it’s not pressed against anything, the shirt rests loosely on it.  Little twinges of little pain, fairly pleasant.

Yes, it makes me wet.  Makes me a little squirmy.  This is the first nipple clamp type thing that i can actually imagine wearing for any length of time.

This time i leave it on longer.  Keep making it tighter.  

But not too tight.  

You know, i’m here by myself.  

i picture not being able to get it back off, my nipple eventually falling off… not that i’m prone to being overly dramatic…  just saying.  

It could happen.

 

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