O, i just did a lovely, stretchy, swirly exercise routine from my Nia DVD ~ just 15 minutes, cause it’s another “running late” kind of day, but my whole body feels awake and energized.
It is a sensual and rigorous exercise at the same time. i’ so glad i didn’t skip it.
i’m starting Day 4 of my diet ~ which i’m not gonna call a diet anymore, it’s a change in my eating habits, a new relationship with food. Doesn’t that sound all New Age-y? Or something…
But it’s true. Last night, after work, i went to the grocery, came home and actually cooked. Had baked salmon and broiled asparagus, mushrooms and tomatoes for dinner, with yogurt and blueberries for dessert.
AND i have vegetable soup in the crock pot. i swear i’m losing belly fat by the minute.
But more importantly, i feel like i’m connecting with my body in a new way.
I used to hear people say things like that and i’d sort of mentally roll my eyes. “Connect with my body in a new way…” WTF.
My body’s here, i’m not dissociated from it, what was this “connecting” supposed to mean?
Then i’d get this flash of what it meant ~ this mental image of being ~ i don’t know how to explain it ~ fully present in my body. Feeling the power of my body and my self… and words don’t really work here.
i would get a flash of it, and in my mind it was like how i imagine athletes feel when they’re playing their sport. Particularly ~ basketball players. Or gymnasts. They seem to be present in their bodies in a different way than i usually am.
BDSM gives me some of that feeling. The intensity the “in-the-moment-ness” of it is powerful and, for me, connects me to my physical being.
And typically, in kink, we are accepting of different body types without value judgements, which is one of the things i love about “the lifestyle.”
But lately i’ve been aware of my own flab, so to speak, and my reduced flexibility. My body doesn’t feel and move the way i want it to.
Yes, i know some of that is age. But not all of it.
Plus, i have some attraction to tantric sex ~ and i have not really been able to tap into the sexual and sensual energy of that discipline. Key word there being, i think, discipline.
While i was feeding myself, ok, stuffing myself, with sugar and carbs, i wasn’t able to move into other realms of discipline (no kinky joke intended…lol)
Ok, enough of this. More to think about later – i need to keep moving today.
But here is how i want to feel. This is my goal.
