Last night’s munch was memorable because Ms. Constance led the ceremony of presenting leathers to two community members who had earned it by their service in the community.
This is the third ceremony like this i’ve been to, and each time i think i’m going to write about what it was like. Each time, i realize that i can’t do it justice.
The leather community is a part of BDSM ~~ and even writing that is not the right beginning.
Never mind. i think i’ll go ask Ms. Constance to do a guest blog for me on the history and significance of the leather community.
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Ok, e-mailed her and hopefully she’ll agree to do it.
In the meantime, i can tell you that one of the people who earned her leather was l j, who i know from the SIG groups. {The Special Interest Groups that i go to monthly.} She leads the submissives’ discussion.
Ms. Constance talked about her first ~ how caring she is, how in touch with people in the community and sensitive to what’s going on with them, how willing to help anytime there’s a need.
Then c-s, another submissive woman, talked about her. She described how much l j helped her as a newcomer to the community, told stories about how l j had eased her path and kept her connected and progressing in the lifestyle.
It was beautiful and moving. And wonderful to watch l j accept her piece of leather ~ an amazing leather garter belt. i didn’t see it unfolded up close, but i think it looked like this:
How cool is that?
And i’m glad i know l j. i’ve watched her reach out to people, to new submissives, and welcome them to the community. She has a warm and nurturing way of doing it, sort of like a den mother! Very cool.
And i’m glad i got to witness the ceremony. It’s both solemn and joyful.
One of the things i love about BDSM is the range of interests and activities and orientations it accommodates. The “leather” element is about service and community, so of course i’m drawn to that.
The leather aspect moves the community beyond pure kink, into a deeper arena. This is where i find some of the spiritual aspect of BDSM.
i was reading over at Jake’s blog, who i like and enjoy very much. He was talking about BDSM and sex, or BDSM without sex. But there was so much he was saying that seemed {to me} to take different aspects of kink and mix them together like hash.
i’m not meaning to be critical of what he was saying in any way, just that it made me want to separate out the different strands of it all.
When Sir D was doing suspension bondage with me, it wasn’t a sexual experience, in the sense of genital sex. i write about it here, if you want to see what i mean.
It was sensual, it was kinky, and it was an amazing experience. But there was no orgasm involved ~ it wasn’t about that. That doesn’t mean there wasn’t sex later. And “later” was enhanced because he had “made me fly.”
Because ultimately, whatever our kink means to us, it ends up being expressed in our own intimate relationships.
Last night, i came home with my Sir, and pleased Him in some of the ways i know He likes. And {smiling} was pleased as well. i think our pleasure was deeper, our relationship richer, because we had experienced a different aspect of BDSM at the munch.
And always, i’m grateful for that.
Thank you for the kind words and the call out, and yes, I think I did make a hash of lots of different threads in my post. I appreciate you trying to tease them out separately to help clarify. And thanks for the example of BDSM sans sex you provided–it helps me understand at least a little bit…
Thanks, Jake, I’m glad you weren’t offended. It’s fascinating, isn’t it, all the ins and outs of TTWD? {Double entendre intended.} laughing…
aisha.
Aisha,
I like the way you describe all this. In fact, I appreciate that you write about the community aspects of it all for you. I haven’t had the opportunity to become part of a community the way you have, or to really experience public BDSM, but i do know that, even in our pretty limited context, many of the activities are coming to have a lot more meaning and depth than just foreplay. It’s circular, sex has become more intimate and connecting than it used to, but there are a lot more ways (beyond sex) to be intimate and connect than there were too.
Thank you, Gg. I appreciate the kind feedback!
And I like the way you describe how it affects your relationship – both here and in your blog. It gives me a model of how this can work in a more private way.
aisha