After they had cleaned me up, letting me pee, removing the traces of lipstick still on my mouth, my nipples, and the lips of my pussy, they put me to bed. They cuff my wrists together and attach them to a chain, which is then attached to the ring in the collar around my neck.
The chain reaches about to my waist, giving me some freedom of movement, but not enough to allow me to touch myself between the legs. Another chain runs from my collar to a ring in the headboard of the bed. Both chains are locked into place with a tiny padlock.
Selena explains that i’ll be monitored throughout the night, and if i need anything, i can ask for it, and someone will hear the request. They may or may not respond, but my needs will be met, and i will be kept safe.
They part my legs and examine my lips, checking for any indications of a rash from the lipstick. Apparently satisfied, they turn out the lights and leave me, alone, in the dark.
i lie on my side and think about O, in Story of O, and how she’d been chained to the bed too. i have been in a constant state of arousal since i got here, and if my hands were free, i’d be stroking myself for sure.
i wonder how i’m being monitored, and if they would get to me in time in case of fire.
i wonder what tomorrow will bring.
And i fall asleep.
*******************************************************
i wake up some time later, not knowing if it is morning or the middle of the night. i lie quite still, thinking back on yesterday, trying to remember all the things that happened.
“Good morning, slut.”
It is The Major’s voice, and i don’t know where it’s coming from. i look around as if i could see Him, but He’s clearly not in the room, and it’s still completely dark, i can barely see anything. Must be a speaker of some sort, i think, and ~~
“The correct response is, “Good morning, Sir.” His voice sounds stern; startled, i try to sit up, stammering, “Good morning, Sir,” as i do so.
The door opens and Diana and Selena come in, flipping on the light. Diana is pushing a cart, i think there is a small pot of coffee and some fruit on a tray.
But they unchain me and hustle me into the bathroom. They allow me a few minutes to myself, then, barely taking time to say, “Good morning, slut,” they whisk me under the shower.
i am still not allowed to touch myself, and they make quick work of washing me. They don’t speak to me, and barely to each other. They shave me again, making me stretch one leg up on a stool to open myself for them. They make me bend over and hold my ass cheeks open so they can shave there as well.
When i have been throughly cleaned and dried and lotion rubbed into my skin, my hair dried and braided, they help me make the bed.
Then they make me kneel in front of the mirror. In First Position, my knees slightly parted, back straight, breasts thrust forward, hands resting on my thighs, palms up, which is beginning to feel quite comfortable.
“Wait here,” Diana says, and she and Selena are gone.
i know the coffee and fruit are still on the cart, on the other side of the room. i think longingly of them. They had let me have some water, but i want my morning coffee.
i don’t know how long i kneel there waiting. Long enough that i begin to wonder how long they will leave me here; wonder how long it would take for me to decide they were never coming back.
i think about getting up and having my coffee. Surely they wouldn’t mind that? Ok, surely they would.
i can’t help watching myself in the mirror. Occasionally, i smile at my own thoughts, and then realize that must look ridiculous.
My nipples and pussy, my mouth, look pretty boring this morning without the deep red lipstick marking me.
More time passes, and i realize that i actually might wait here forever. In some odd way, the realization relaxes me. i don’t have to worry about it. i’m not going anywhere, and things will happen exactly the way He wants them to.
My spirit opens to the knowledge, and i feel myself move into a more submissive space in my mind. If He wants me to, i will wait here all day.
But soon, the door opens ~ it is The Major. i move as if to get up, but He gestures me to stay where i am.
He sits down on the other side of the room, next to the tray, and pours a cup of coffee, sips from it. My heart sinks, i thought the coffee was for me.
“Would you like some coffee, slut?” He says.
“Yes, Sir,” i respond quickly, “i’d love some coffee.”
“You may crawl over here and have some,” He says.
i pause ~ really? i have to crawl over there?
But i want coffee pretty badly, so i do. i crawl on my hands and knees, until i am in front of Him. Then i raise up, rock back onto my heels, in First Position again.
He holds the cup for me, and i drink greedily. The taste of good coffee is almost orgasmic.
He laughs, removes the cup, and strokes my hair.
“Are your knees doing ok?” He asks.
i consider the question, and nod, “Yes, Sir, i think so.”
“Well, you may sit if you like, while i feed you,” He says. “You’ll be on your knees plenty.”
So i do, i sit on the floor, which is carpeted and not uncomfortable, while he feeds me strawberries and grapes, some cantaloupe and watermelon too.
When i have had my fill, He says, “First position slut.” Quickly, i gather myself back into position, and look to Him hopefully.
“We need to finish doing your life inventory,” He says. “We’ve discussed your body,” and i blush a little, but He goes on. “What shall we look at next?”
I’m squirmy from this inventory business, *shakes head* no majors for this girl.
@Andi,
laughing… He is a little scary – He makes me squirmy too!
aisha
Yup me too. Will she really tell Him everything?? Will she trust Him that much?? How can she possibly tell him everything?? It would take years and still not tell the whole story. Sigh. Lol im not projecting I swear *crossed fingers*
Can’t wait to read what’s next.
@K,
Lol – I don’t know – I’m not sure how she’s going to handle this! I guess I’ll find out tomorrow morning when I’m writing it!
{smiling}
aisha
In the Darkness the unknown is always magnified. An inventory is always hard, we as a species do not like to look into ourselves. Great Story.
@Bill,
Yes. Good insights. Thank you!
aisha
I feel like Big Bad is doing an inventory of me sometimes. And yes, it’s taken years. Good story.
Thanks, Sin. Yes, just from reading your blog, I can see why you’d feel that way! aisha
as always, a brilliant piece of work. i struggle with the idea of waiting “forever if He wants me to”…does that surprise you?
perhaps i should say i struggle with the *idea* of that.
When i am with Master and he puts me on the wall, forehead touching…time stops for me. I don’t resent it, don’t note the passage of time, i am just …there. Fully open, receptive to anything He wants. Happy to be there. Not thinking of “what next”…just *there*.
But when i am in “rest of my life” mode, where i am constant motion, constantly something to do? I cannot imagine being that receptive, even when i *have* already done it just days before!.
Does that make any sense?
I waited all day to read this…a long and sometimes difficult, and sometimes joyful day to read this; this was a small blessing at the end of a very long day…a gift i gave to myself when i could sit and enjoy it fully.
Thank You, aisha, for your brilliant, clarity-filled vision.
love,
nilla
@’Nilla,
That does make sense – truly, I think there’s a different frame of mind that we enter – call it subspace, call it whatever we like, but it shifts our consciousness and allows us to experience the world differently. Isn’t that the real appeal of ttwd?
And nice to think that reading my blog’s a treat for you! That makes me smile.
Thank you.
aisha
Coffee as a tool…yes I would crawl for coffee,
@LM – Wouldn’t anyone? aisha