When i talked to Him earlier today, i was sure He would come over tonight. Ok, maybe not sure, but pretty sure. Well, at least very, very hopeful.
i want Him so much, my body tingles. i ache to feel His touch, gentle or harsh doesn’t matter. i long to feel His cock in my mouth… And thinking about it isn’t making me feel any better.
It’s almost 6:30 and i’ve been checking my e-mail obsessively for the last couple of hours – my regular e-mail and the one that He set up for me so i could start this blog. Which means i’ve been signing out of one and into the other, then reversing the process, about every 5 minutes. Making myself crazy. i even keep looking out the window like i think He’s going to suddenly appear, and i know that won’t happen.
Is submission making me stupid? Because i would not put myself through this stupid shit for someone else, torturing myself with hope, waiting on pins and needles. Of course, i can’t think of anyone else who makes me wet with a word or two, or not even that; i don’t have to actually speak to Him, His picture on an IM, His phone number on a ringing phone is all it takes, and i’m hot and ready, wanting Him.
He is not going to come tonight. i might as well accept it. Submit to it, if you want to put it that way. And if i put it that way, that makes me hot too, as if i like the idea of having to accept His absence in the same way i accept the belt, stinging slaps between my legs, or the way He pinches and twists my nipples. His absence is much worse.
6:41. He could still come.
i want to call Him and ask, casually, like it doesn’t really matter. How would i say it? “Um, hi, Sir, i was just wondering..”
No.
i want to call Him and beg. “Please, Sir, just for a little bit?”
No.
6:45. The phone rings – ohmigod – i hold my breath – YES! It is SIR!!
“Hi, Sir,” i say. Sounding casual. I think. I hope.
“Did you want some cock tonight?”
YES, YES, YES!!!